The September equinox is around this coming corner. Letting go to fall up.

The corners that have been jarring most peoples lives will soon be topped by this next corner: the arrival of the Equinox is nearly upon us.

What does this mean? 

Well September has been an even stranger month than the usual strange. For me it started well. It was sunny, I went for walks enjoying the beautiful autumn sunshine, it was warm, we were still in summer shorts and tee-shirts. I was slowly coming round to converting back to the term time routine, there was the busy rush of getting the school uniforms and letting the summer holidays fall away from memory, like sand through your fingers. I wasn't rushing anywhere else, I have rid myself of the behaviour that sees us skidding and screeching from one nonsensical move to the next.

By mid September, however, I am exhausted, needing to sleep, deeply and frequently and not getting the opportunity to do so. A major health concern has reared its dragons head, again. I am flailing around like a wounded butterfly, too fragile, but required to keep doing the butterfly thing. The butterfly thing is weird because I am feeling like I have been battered and bombarded and still have duties to perform.

The cold has moved back and we have rain. Lots of rain. This indicates another level of clearing and cleansing.

I understand that as we approach the Equinox we are entering a sacred space where we must disrobe of outer garments that will hold back our performance in the separation phase. Some of us expect that we should have cleared most, if not all, of our inner  clutter,  negative self-dialogue, residual traumas that over years (and lives) have acted as cement around our hearts. What you choose to be now, will lay the seeds in the ground, to grow and create, the place and space where you will reside in your experience of life.

I want to move into clear blue warm oceans of peace. 
That means going over and releasing past life stuff.
The dream space allows you to do this.
Everything that presents itself to you, in your daily life now, attend to it with concentration because it often presents opportunity to integrate, release, acknowledge, heal or forgive aspects of yourself and what you have created consciously or unconsciously. 

Today I notice that its changing for me again. I am still tired. The butterfly is still moving in stilted jolts, but she is still moving. But I have clarity for a change. It all melts into place when you allow your active body to cease in what we call its attachment to things.

Today, I was so tired, that I fell with bliss into an unplanned meditation, because I no longer felt able to do anything else.

What came to me was the bliss of:
Dropping all baggage,
Forgetting all attachments to everything,
Dropping the need for identity, even the identity we give ourselves as beings on a spiritual journey.
Let everything else, melt away, join with your bigger self, your multidimensional self and rest in that union, as one would melt into a giant comfy sofa, and just be.

Letting go attachments to the identity we install with each and every task.
There is  no need to have attachments to create our identity any longer, this is an ego thing which keeps us in the boxing ring.

Step out of the boxing ring. Breathe. Let go of the fight.

Or another way to look at it is this. Imagine yourself in a fight with yourself, on top of a cliff, on a stormy day. The two parts of you, are,  the denser ego with attachments to identity, and to an assortment of  identity associated with feelings of poverty, lack, ambition, hurt, trauma, lust, adventure, scheming, self sabotage, purity and/or religious piety, whatever, whatever etc etc.

The other you, which is unseen, is the bigger part of you, the higher self or the guiding self, or whatever you like to call yourself, is the one who imparts dreams to you. This you is the wiser self, who during this life has been observing and pushing, and facilitating the "agreed" downpour of "fateful" happenings on your head and into your experience so that you would eventually wake from the limits and boundaries set up by the ego's fear.

So, there is this fight going on, on top of the cliff. The ego you, has been pounded with celestial debris, and beaten by "assailants" and thunderstorms,  feeling wings beating.  It has been battered by the "agreed" downpour of kick-ass happenings till your physical body, controlled by the glands and hormones (related to the chakras,) and emotional reactions activated by what ever state the nervous system is currently experiencing. This ego self, the one who goes to work, who is engaged with society (or not),  is fearful of bombs and war, buys into the constant manipulation by the media, etc etc,  until  "freedom" is just another word in the dictionary, is battling with the forces of the unseen self.

The spiritual journey allows one to begin to feel, to wake to and be guided by the unseen self, the quantum self, the, dare I say it "angel" self.

When the battle is reaching its end, the fight becomes very precarious until you don't know yourself anymore. You have been pounded, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and the unseen you has got you over the cliff, and you are hanging on by only your finger tips.

Even then the unseen self is using  rocks to bang out the final deep layers of attachment to self. The only thing keeping you onto the rocks is beginning to weaken and you can't hold on. The rocks bang onto your hands, LET GO< LET GO>LET GO..... all your attachments are becoming blurry, as you become delirious. You are feverish and you can no longer fight. But you have to keep your identity, its all you have left......My identity is who I am and even that....is no longer making sense.

So the battle continues.

I came to a place in meditation where I did let go of the cliff, and was suspended  for a while until I experienced a beautiful whoosh of elevation. I was falling up.

Let your attachment to your false Identity go.

Let go of your attachment to the identity you perceive as being defined by your actions and roles.

In my case I feel now to take on the roles of motherhood, not as one assuming her role of mother, ( or any other role come to that,) but just doing the required action as an act of love.

Be polite as an act of love, not as part of your attachment to having good manners. Be a good employer as an act of love. Be a good employee as an act of love.

Each act of love will release you from the self imposed bondage of living up to your own expectations of self.

 If you do, do in the energy of love. If you speak, speak in the energy of love. Let go of the "should do's"  and be strong to find the "love tos' " in your life.

Let go of the impermanence of the pantomime you find yourself in. Let go of the small, boxed in self that uses the ego to guide it.

Let go, and fall up.

Today the sun is shining once again, the energies feel warm and connecting.
Tomorrow is the equinox.  It is another milestone in our own particular story, it adds oomph to that battle on the cliff. The energy it brings adds to the downpour on each of our heads at this time. It just might be the final push to let go.

Use this energy to allow you to feel that "letting go" experience. Use the energy to facilitate the release of the ego's power  and embrace the unseen self. 

Meditate, or reflect or ponder on the huge, big you, the unseen you that is waiting to catch you and raise you up, when you let go.

Michaela.

Ps.    A thing to do is write down everything that is in your life at the moment, look at it and then write next to what you see as the attachment to it,  the attachment to the outcome and then how you define yourself by this attachment. See how fragile your identity is when something goes wrong in this relationship, or that happening, or this event, or that situation....

Then write down how to melt the importance of this attachment, and how to transmute it into an aspect of love in your life. Some will be very difficulty to do that with. Tricky ? Yeah I know.  Its easier to just let "how the attachment associates to the definition of yourself" go. For example, see in this association,
                           
                                " I have a terrible job, therefore I am  a terrible, worthless person",

                       so  let the attachment to how you define yourself, (or, how the Ego has decided to be with the attachment,) go.

                                 Instead it becomes,

                                 " I have a terrible Job. But it is present in my life for a reason, I will be present in this role, until I am able to empower myself to see what lessons it is bringing me. It does not define me.  If I let it, this experience will help me understand what it is that I need to experience right now.  This job is not a definition  of who I am.

 Simple. Let go the Ego's attachment to it.