But I also get how many things have been delivered to me in this last year of 2016, for me to do, start, initiate, activate, mend, repair, attend to, finish, move into, move out of, advocate or terminate, see through, file away, trash, burn up etc etc....All come with 'paperwork' or processing of some kind.
I was beginning to think that, should one NOT be standing in their full authority as a sovereign self and in total authority of their energetic fields, then that one will be overwhelmed with the amount of OTHER stuff that can be stuffed onto them, swamping their energy with WORK that causes them to Not access their Sovereignity in free will.
What I am trying to say is I still have paperwork hanging over my head from 2016. On the physical level, I had to move from my home. A house move, rental to another rental, and I had to pay horrible amounts of money in order to do this. The amount of paperwork is a never ending pile. Before we had even unpacked, my life took a swerve into a deeper groove when both my parents who depend on me had serious issues which meant me dividing my time between them both, in various hospitals and being the executor and advocate of both their lives. During this exhausting time I lost touch with my teenagers who travelled their own paths unsupervised and I am only now picking up those pieces.
My own lifestyle had no choice, and my stuff was pushed so far into the background that it no longers exists.
So, so many things were left uncompleted for me. My plans to be actioned have all been left undone. I am still having to prioritise OTHERS....mainly my teenagers issues and now the ongoing care of my mother, and finally the wrapping up of my fathers life, who died on January 8th, 2017, and was buried 18th. I am now in the sluggish world of lawyers and probate. My own personal home and family paperwork still piles in each day on top of everything else.
The first thing I want to say is that prior to these massive exhausting events that played out in my physical life .... I had managed to do a lot of energy clearing, healing and releasing, meditating and just allowing spiritual downloads..
So...was I clearing space to make myself available to be quickly filled with such an immense download, as if poured upon by a dumper truck? I had been prior to this, just allowing guidance and getting to feel my internal navigational compass. I was making my way into into my own spiritual depths and getting places within ...and then...Out of nowhere the beginning of massive external situations, (of internal spiritual origins, I suspect) began its avalanche.
There is no space to mention all dramas, and scenarios that were part of the avalanche, but with many challenges toppling down on me for months, I have been exhausted.
I need to say that I did get to see, in hindsight at different stages, the beauty of spiritual depths being uncovered by me through all of it. A big revelation was during the last days of my fathers life, when I knew that I could succeed to "arrange" (using my newly acquired tools of not doubting my spiritual sovereignty) getting him into a hospice for his last days. It was a beautiful place and he needed to be there because he needed help to release from this life.
It was obvious that I was navigated to spend time with him, helping him to release from behind the glass wall he had built. He couldn't figure out how to die with grace and ease. (I have come to see that anti-life scenes that we are drawing away from now are not about living in grace and ease. If we do not know how how to live in grace and ease how can we expect to die with grace and ease)
I had had a premonition in the form of visions a few weeks earlier. Firstly of my daughter fainting and collapsing, and in a second one, of my father collapsing and suffocating, his face pressed against a glass wall, mouth open and in pain. He was falling down against this glass wall and was not able to move through it.
I only knew they were premonitions when first vision actually played out. My daughter fainted and collpsed in the doctors surgery, I realised she was wearing the same clothes as I saw in the vision. I was relieved that it was not the situation that it so possibly could have been.
The following day the hospice notified me that I should get there quick as my dad's condition had changed for the worse. Unconscious for a few days and his breathing coming and going I knew that he needed help to die because my vision had shown me he was stuck. I was able to stay with most of the day and flooded him with unconditional love. Part of why it was important for him to be in the hospice is because it is a busy doorway, or portal for leaving this life. I trusted that the energies of this place gave an integrity and honour to life and death, and on different levels, allowed a person to exit this life with ease and grace.
My father was a complex man, deeply intellectual but lived in his head, depressed and suffocated, he was unable to access a life that allowed flow. He was stuck. He was so stuck in his difficult ways for most of his life that he never could, or wanted to, truly connect with any of us. He managed to wound us his children many times for most of our lives.
It was after his death that I knew I had been with him so intensely for so much of this year and then increasingly in the last weeks and days in order to connect with him in his illness, kidney failure but primarily lung cancer, a manifestation of Grief. He died at the age of 86, no one knew how he was able to live so long with illness that kills others at much younger ages.
As he could not connect with anyone outside his glass wall, I had to break down my own wall to cross over to him.
My being with him throughout this was perhaps a function of the growth of my spiritual experience, maybe a completion of a contract, maybe a karmic agreement, maybe a Big time exploration for me but also a chance for me being with, and releasing totally, for all time, all hurt and pain (seemingly) caused by this man gave me the ultimate gift of getting my true self back. There was always a backdrop of serenity to this overwhelming and chaotic intervention into my life.
What I am is now better than what I was. I did not know how my inner self needed to release the immensity of the pain which had become the hidden black hole, you can't see it, but it forms a base line from which everything else is expressed.
I was talking to my daughters friend a few days ago, she finds life challenging and is overwhelmed.
I explained that by being thrown into (spiritually derived, as they all are) challenges she will get to know who she is at the other end. These challenges will provide the arenas for her to play through her insecurities and doubts, and to find her strengths and to drop the stuff she has outgrown.
This stuff is priceless. The outcome is what your inner self is struggling to reveal to you.
As for completing things that have got your life force tied up in knots, are they there as serious work for you to unpick to unravel yourself from OLD energies that you cannot see?
Or is your life force tied up in dreams and excuses that perhaps never will be launched, because they are just self created distractions to avoid being in the challenges that will allow you to find your true self.
Or are our dreams unable to be actioned because we are so caught up in anti-life paperwork?
Whatever will be different to each of us.
It seems MY spiritual endeavours, deep and fruitful, needed and called for an ACTION FIELD in order for me to embody them and put them into action, in the here and now.
On the path to find your true self, each action that is ACTIONED, will therefore bring more spiritual essence to the table of your life. Sometimes it may seem that challenges are being dumped on us, and maybe we have called for them because we are ready to express our true self in ACTION. Simultaneously we can rise to meet the challenge that sets us free.
Then you get to live the life that is not just a dream in an unseen and hazy spiritual dimension, but you get to see the dreams, that you really need to see, acting in life.
Michaela 24th January 2017.
2016 Left Us In a Dimensional Hollow
Monday, 23 January, 2017
As we move forward into 2017 every inch of us seems confused, are we coming or going, shifting or staying? 2016 left us in a dimensional hollow. We have sought deeply within and without to perceive the truth of it all. Are we here or there? Did we shift? Is this what it feels like? Did we do good? The human perception is cloudy with a chance of rain. A great grey befalls the kingdom as black and white blur into a deep abyss.
Seen or unseen, everything is felt. This powerful year escorts humanity – into doorways of thinking beyond the present perception of time. Your essence has never been limited or linear, your spirit belongs to all worlds, to all universes. The light is your brethren, the asteroids your distant cousins. Everything of this existence was cooked in the same cosmic crock-pot. You came from the same cosmic primordial soup with the same celestial ingredients. Because many did not fulfill the contract of complete in 2016 the Universe is asking all of life, to finish what is undone, unseen in deed and thought. The light of Completeness allows all captured life forms to be set free. Like a breath of fresh air after a long winter's nap, life is breathed back into life.
Within each uncompleted situation lives a powerful pulsating life force. That life force has taken the shape of all that needs to be finished whether animate or inanimate. Whether thought or deed. Your passions for life are stuck and need lubricating, your celestial pizzazz has dulled. Life quickens at your command, buckle up and hold on for dear life.
Most People have a lot more energy than they are showing in their cosmic profiles. Their Life force is tied up in dreams and excuses. how much life force do you hold captive in non-action? Decree aloud, the wrapping up of all that is unfinished in your life. Give your dreams permission to birth in 2017. Visualize the life force within filling you with a powerful prominent light that stretches thru eternity.
Gillian MacBeth-Louthan - PO box 217 - Dandridge, Tennessee 37725-0217 - www.thequantumawakening.com thequantumawakening@hughes.net
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