This message resonates with me. In fact it has been banging on my door more loudly than ever. Recently I have started in a position of support in an accupuncture clinic. I am trialling for a month and we near the month's end. It is only a few days a week and it seemed to tick all the boxes. I love the whole idea of healing and I have had accupuncture and know it is amazing. I am very spirtual and artistic and this just seemed so Zen for me. So on the FACE of it, this should be enjoyable.....
only.... it is not. I get so tired and zoned out the longer I am there. I am making mistakes and I cant wait to leave at the end of the session. The choice I made to take this on was from a place that something is lacking in my life (financial, order, structure, etc). However, when I am there, I feel that my energy is either being sucked out from me, (which is a real dynamic as I am an empath and this occurs often), or, that the energy of the place is one that is too strong and structured for me and overwhelms me.
I am dowsing this to figure out what is going on. Dowsing tells me that this is a beneficial arrangement for a while. It is a situation that is showing me clearly how to discern what is right for me. In the past, like most people, I have taken on roles that do not honour and allow expression of my innermost self. When this happens the innermost self becomes dumbed down, and becomes used to not being noticed or valued, it retires from life's daily interactions. The result is a person's engine is only running on an empty tank. This makes us weary and disillusioned. So perhaps this is a current happening to light up the warning on my dashboard.
I actually thought that I had done the work for this not to happen again. I am primed and ready to be fully authentic and acting from my full expression. The situation is simply not allowing it. What I mean is, simply, that I was not taken on to be my full expression. A person was required to be in a supporting role and undertake tasks that accomplish the fulfillment of a steady and streamlined accupuncture clinic, and that a steady stream of clients are seen to and have their healing treatments, which by the way, I can see they very effective and produce amazing results.
My full expression is simply not required here. It is a recycling of other past work situations where I am required to turn up, do the job and go home.
In this place, is it quite Zen, in that the order and structure flows, beginning, middle and end. In my role I help to facilitate this flow. I am required to be grounded. I am trying to figure out why I am not being grounded and enjoy supporting this flow. Because I am not able to ground in it I just zone out through boredom.
It is a contrast to the 'chaos' that is my home and family life. I came to realise a long time ago that there is something in the chaos that I needed, and that there is fertility in chaos, of not knowing what is going to happen next, of trusting, of being thrown challenges (trust me, I am challenged frequently) and just accepting that the energies around me had a special place and function for me to grow spiritually.
So, I suppose I was intrigued to see what was happening in the 'ordered' world, and could I find my my place in the 'contrast of order'. The truth is I am not being challenged here, in fact I am finding hard to stay awake in it.
A side-step here, a note on North Nodes. The study of the North Node is the astrology of where you are moving on your path to acheive your soul/life purpose in this life. This actually gives you the bliss of 'realising purpose'. There is also the South Node, what you have accomplished already and is opposite the North Node. The South Node is about what you have have already lived and breathed before, it is the expression that served you before and that has given you certain gold nuggets of experience that you keep in your pockets. It also, by virtue of you being experienced in it, is the expression that you revert back to often, In mid life you should be casting aside expression of the South Node and stepping fully into your North Node expression. My North Node is Gemini in the 11th House of Pisces. Which means that my soul/life purpose is based in my freedom to communicate (talk, paint, live life etc) within the 'element of the divine'. So my bliss is about talking and expressing freely in and about the realms of reaching out to my own, and to others, divinity. I know this is quite, OUT THERE, which is why it is difficult for me to land this expression fully. My South Node, what I have under my belt already, ie mastered already but keep defaulting back to because I know this stuff, is Virgo in the house of Sagitarius. In other words, I default to the mastery of the ritual of perfecting the mundane, the routine, the chores, the house work, serving and supporting, all within the aspect of what social norms say has to be done. This has been how I see my place in the structured order of society.
It is worth noting that in mid-life years, you feel the 'bliss' when you step fully into your expression of your North Node, and conversely you feel increasingly resentful, strangled and impeded the more you step backwards into expression of your South Node. A link to the North Node, Astrologer Elizabeth is in one of my earlier blogs.
So then, back to my current situation> What I am doing, it seems, is trying to find a place to express fully my North Node, Gemini in the house of Pisces.( chatting, conversing, painting etc about the divine realms) but instead.......
.... I actually placed myself straight back into a South Node role, of supporting and serving, of being responsible for perfecting the mundane but essential everyday routine tasks.
No wonder I am zoning out.
But why can I not see a place for me to live my North Node?
Why am I managing to step back into my 'old world' stuff when really I need to be accessing my 'new world' now?
.....Probably because it is a lonely path.
AndI keep feeling the 'pull' of the Sagitarian House, ie the societal "We are All In this Together" that pulls the strings of my South Node Business.
Mainly...
it is because it's the only way I 'know' to participate in the world, and default back to it because nothing else is apparent, in that it is the only way I know to get outside validation that I am still part of the world?
By having taken this role, am I being reminded that it is no longer a time for me to be supporting, or serving others (South Node)?
Am I being reminded that its time to step out of the world of 'healing and fixing things', and just 'get on' with life, the 'new life' that is already there but I can't grasp it yet?
If so why can't I see the new life if it is flowing around me already?
Why can't I see how to live in my full expression and stop making choices that keep me small?
This may seem small but the conflict thrown up in my face is huge. Why am I seeking small supporting roles that can no longer fulfil me?
For me, it is like looking at a 2D map of the world laid out on a table and, knowing that it is in fact a vastly huge multi dimensional arena of the divine, but sadly unable to see where I want to be in it.
So how to name it and claim it?
How do we pull it from the air and down to our personal ground space?
How do we step into what we know to be there but cannot see?
How to trust that this is so?
It could just be, uncomfortably, that seeing, feeling and being in the 'contrast' to what you 'want', will (with practice using of your tool kit of 'new awareness and higher frequency vibration'), actually allow you to see where you 'WANT' to be, and so you become enabled to make it happen.
http://northnodeastrology.blogspot.co.uk/2008/12/north-node-12th-house-pisces-north-node.html
A resounding message from Selacia.
Saturday, 25 April, 2015 (posted 27 April, 2015)
As you prepare to celebrate Wesak and the Buddha’s birthday on May 2, you have been through an intense cycle of energy. Most likely, you are still working through some of the issues that came to light the past couple of months.
Besides these challenges, you also connected with some helpful new insights about your life – discovering more about what’s working and what needs to change. Since Wesak last year, you indeed have shifted so much energetically that it’s like you are a different person in some ways.
Yes, you may look similar and much in your day-to-day world may appear unchanged.
On an inner level, however, you are quite different. From a spiritual perspective, note these key signs of awakening contributing to your energetic shifting.
Signs of Awakening
One – You are holding and radiating more light than you did a year ago – this relates to the ascension process.
Two – On an energy level, you are learning to adapt more easily to shifts in energy – in part because you are having so much practice!
Three – You are becoming more comfortable with the idea that life will not be returning to the kind of “normal” you knew before – some of the comfort comes from knowing this change is universal impacting everyone.
Another factor is repetition over time of the idea that you indeed have entered a brave new world in which the only way forward is ahead – the more that you can accept this idea, the more progress you will make and the more joyful you will feel.
Four – Most likely, you are dealing with some issues that might have appeared to come out of nowhere – challenges you didn’t have before. Some of these involve past life themes in your DNA, catalyzed by your accelerated awakening and the need on a spiritual level to clear the deck of these things at this juncture.
The key to remember here is that while some of these things might seem like new issues, they in fact were sitting there all along. This past year, they came to the surface for you to address a final time.
If you have something like this, it likely is not your typical challenge, but something you as a soul have been grappling with for lifetimes. Despite what you might feel about addressing this, it’s important that you meet whatever it is head on.
On Wesak as you gather with others to celebrate the Buddha and your own enlightenment potential, you will receive spiritual fuel to help you stabilize and build a new momentum.
There is a new kind of stability needed when you get to this place on the path of awakening.
Your strength now must be sourced on both spiritual and physical levels. The kind of spiritual strength you are developing will help you to hold your center when things become even more chaotic than now.
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This expanded strength will give you greater perspective and a way to make peace with things that do not make sense on a mundane level.
Aim for strength that embodies your highest values of how to live life on Earth: love, compassion, patience, and tolerance.
The strength referenced here means that you can look at your upside-down world in a direct way, seeing it as it is – seeing it honestly without losing your balance. This becomes increasingly vital going forward.
As a divine changemaker, you are alive to be at the helm of changes happening across the planet, participating consciously to help create positive transformation.
In that role, you are learning to be fearless. You are learning to see what is there – the good the bad and the ugly – without judgment. As you do this, you have opportunities to be a significant healing force in outcomes.
For right now, know that you are among the fortunate ones consciously walking the path during Earth’s most volatile times.
To be conscious now is a gift. It means that you really get what society’s changes are all about. You understand they are needed and you know it’s not going to be easy to implement them.
You know that spiritual strength and being resourced by spirit will make all the difference – these things helping you to be the powerful divine changemaker you are destined to be.
Copyright 2014 by Selacia - author of Earth’s Pivotal Years, healer, and teacher * All Rights Reserved * www.Selacia.com * Feel free to share these articles with your friends and post to your blog or website as long as you include this copyright line and the full article text.
This message was originally posted here
Tags: awakening wesak Wesak Full Moon
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