You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” ~ Maya Angeloue ...........................We are big enough and brave enough to change the map we are running by.

We all travel our own path. We create our own map. We walk our in our own shoes. At a certain point it makes sense to stop and look at the map we are running by.

Have we chosen a route that leads us to our own truth, or  have we been busy trying to fulfil the dictates set before us by others?

If we have lived according to the rules set out by others, are we comfortable with that so far?
If by doing this we feel fulfilled and have no uncomfortable unfilled voids lurking somewhere inside that niggles and nags us to allow a burst of our own creation to unfold, then we are compliant with and unquestioning about the life scenario playing out.

But if we are no longer happy playing by the 'outside of ourselves' set of rules and feel that within there lies an ache that we cannot properly heal, an emptiness that calls to be filled, than its time listen to what is calling out from deep in the depths of the self.

One way to start is by realising that the creation of you, is big enough and brave enough to re-claim the jewels within that void. The jewels are simply that you were created to be what 'you' are.

We have been so distracted by countless sources that even seemingly natural roles in nature, such as giving birth and parenting have been taken over, regulated, dictated and overwhelmed by forces outside of ourselves, because we have become deaf to the true voice of the 'self' within our place in nature.

Civilisation and sophistication has become blurred with social engineering, manipulation, role specification and fulfilling of stereotypes and archetypes. Evolution has not been kind to the soul. We became mass produced, brainwashed and pliable commodities that, once we reach a sell-by-date, or are no longer useful or fulling the manufactured roles decreed by this manufactured society, we are seen as a burden on the great machine. We internalise this too, as we have done with each law blasted out to us since childhood.

The way to change this is for each of us to find value and worth inside of ourselves. If we each can manage to undo the subliminal programming and recover the truth of the self, even if we may feel unable to step off the path, or change the map, we begin to open the doors to freedom within the self.

The jewels are within. Begin with questioning what we are doing and why we are doing it. Question what we believe and why we believe it. Feel the space inside relax and expand as we explore who it is that is really inside of us.

The following is a feature reminding us that we can exit the demands of trying to be something we are not and I feel that by accepting who we are, (warts and all,) we find who we trully are.



 

5 Reasons You Have Nothing to Prove to Anybody

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You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” ~ Maya Angelou

Most of us walk through the world with the sole agenda of proving our self worth and purpose for being on this earth. While I know we all want to make a difference, and it’s becoming harder and harder to stand out in today’s crazy world of social media, I feel it’s my duty to remind you of why you have nothing to prove to anybody.

I’ll start by saying it simply.

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

A hard concept to grasp I’m sure, but it’s very true and only you can deny it. No one can tell you how much value you have to offer, and there are certainly to “guidelines” by which we can measure a person’s worth.

Where we all run into problems with issues around self worth and value is when we attach our sense of self to what we do and how well we do it. We incessantly compare ourselves to everyone else, which leads to feeling less than, and insufficient.

We learn that if we are attractive enough, smart enough, funny enough, nice enough, giving enough or talented enough that we will be accepted and belong.

The idea of being accepted and loved for who we are without including what we “do” is a novel concept for all of us.

I’ll say it again in case it didn’t go in the first time.

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

I can say this without even knowing you because I truly believe that each and every person walking along side of me is worthy, valuable, perfect and enough.

Here are 5 more reasons you have nothing to prove to anybody.

1. Your standards are all that matter

Stop using others as a yardstick for what and who you need to be. Set your own standards for yourself, and if those are too high then check in with yourself about how you developed these unreachable ideas about yourself in the first place. Having realistic and attainable standards for who you are and how you want to walk through this world will keep you grounded in your own authentic worthiness.

2. External validation is fleeting

It feels good to get the gold star or affirmation from someone you respect or admire. No doubt that this is a good thing for anyone. However, this kind of validation is fleeting simply because it’s not yours to own. It’s on borrowed time, and if you don’t do your own work on owning your own value this goodness will slip away. You want to hold this part of yourself sacred so it’s always available when you need it.

3. You’ll never please everyone

There is a hamster wheel for everything in life, and that includes your desire to please others by proving yourself. There will inevitably be that one person who never really sees how great you are (usually a parent) leaving you going back to the empty well over and over. Know that your honorable acts of seeking approval will be futile with a few if not many.

4. You are good enough

There’s a concept in Psychoogy developed by D.W. Winnicott that talks about the good enough mother. This applies here too. You don’t have to be perfect or more than, you just need to be good enough. Good enough has to be determined by you, and you alone. Striving to be perfect or more than you need to be will exhaust you and ultimately leave you feeling defeated because it’s unsustainable.

5. Inadequacy is an internal experience

Recognize that your feelings of not being enough or needing to prove your worth are inside of you. You may experience the feelings when you are around other people, but it’s most likely a projection of your own internal struggle. Work on this in therapy or with a trusted mentor because feeling valued and worthy completely starts within.

What constitutes approval seeking behavior and why do you think so many people are after it?

I really want to know what are your thought  on this. You can share your insights by joining the conversation in the comment section below 

This article was written by Andra Brosh, Ph.D.. Andra is a licensed Clinical Psychologist in the Los Angeles. She specializes in the human relationship, and helping individuals and couples with creating and sustaining healthy, fulfilling relationships all contexts of life. Andra believes that relationships are the pulse of overall wellbeing, and she is dedicated to helping men and women through life’s hardest relational traumas including infidelity and divorce. She maintains two private practices in Venice and Downtown LA, and facilitates divorce support groups for women throughout the Los Angeles community. To learn more about Dr. Brosh and her work visit www.drandrabrosh.com.

Added by Luminita Saviuc on 12, November 2013