I have been thinking about sadness. With all the roadworks digging up outside my home, there has been renovation works going on in the inner me too. Lately feelings, ideas, memories, dreams, events, circumstances, conversations and random meetings with people from my past have been swirling in a gentle way around me. There have also been fast decision making as planned events are changing course, in ways I didnt expect. The plan now is to deal with the Process of healing the 'SAD'.

 This month, has been like a white Knuckle ride. Plenty of Drama and lots going on in my life, which is strange because quite some time ago I subtracted many things from my life's equation to be left with the sum of what was really necessary.

What I want to Journal about now, in a gentle way is the subject of sadness.

Many things in my life have been sad. But there was not, for me, in the past, ways to :
acknowledge and accept
soften and embrace
heal and resolve
Much of the sad events and situations that thread through this tapestry have been embedded in the way a thread is sown into the tapestry.  The body takes all this and absorbs it into itself, holding and hiding it.


Lately while doing routine stuff, I am having re runs of conversations from the past, snapshots of people, and memories of events and situations are coming to me in daydreams.

They are all coming up for healing.

I am in the position of now having to hold my hands up and say "yes, these things made me feel sad, and I am sad now thinking of them, again".

Often in the past, I would just get on with stuff, and use the old, clichés like "That's Life" without ever allowing the healing to come through by expressing my sadness about them. It's true that I would not be able to VOICE my sadness about them. Its the feeling of wanting to cry, not being able, or having the therapeutic space to cry.  There is the feeling of constriction in the back of the throat, where sadness is swallowed back and dumped into the body somewhere.

Now is the time for these ethereal like memories to float back into my consciousness to be acknowledged. It is time for me to respect and honour my sadness for them.

Recently small events,  have triggered those sad items back into being. I am now able to consciously to console myself that "yes, they were sad, and continue to leave a residue of sadness that up until now I didn't consider."

I have to like myself and honour myself enough to let this sadness come through for healing.

My body has been reacting and telling me its time to upload this stuff. Self healing and meditation are helping me keep track of the Process.

I have also been guided to go for acupuncture which is helping the physical release of the emotion. Seeing those needles inserted into my stomach and legs, is amazing, and yes, for me there is some pain, but not always. I  realised that I needed help to work with the body where this sadness has come to be embedded.

Accupuncture, for me has helped, it has drawn out the filaments of sadness that lay blocking my meridians. I am assisting myself by allowing and honouring  myself to be sad.

Its difficult when noone else really understands the process, because I am expected to be, and true to say, I expect myself to be, fully functioning in all aspects of life at the same time as working through these processes.

When the intention is to deal empathically with your own emotions you find help and synchronicity. Resources become available and usually the process is mirrored back to you so that the experience of process is validated.

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Nobody wants to be sad, nobody wants to feel the sadness that  brings you down. It is easier to let it lie in the body till it becomes physical aches and pains or worse, disease. It is easier for a person to say they feel sick, or ill, than to admit they feel sad. We associate failure with sadness, that somehow that person hasn't coped well with the challenges of life. We associate isolation and social dislocation with sadness.

Often we don't know what is making us sad, we just feel sad. It can be buried deep. This sadness may have trip wires to attached to it, that spring our defences into reactions that are not appropriate, when someone inadvertently touches them.

Also the holding of these emotions lowers our vibrations and we can only feel comfortable in lower vibration places or activities, or with people that match these lower vibrations. I suspect addictions to lower vibration 'vices' can be ways in which we remain in 'comfort' as we cradle the invisible sources of our own low vibration emotions.

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The Last thing I want to say about emotions such as this, is that humans are here to experience the full range of emotions. All of them, 'good' and 'bad'. It is one of the unique ways in which humans operate, and these emotions are natural, we just need to upgrade our dealing with these emotions so that we can shine our light through them.

 Some say that humans are individual manifests of the All -that- is, (that is God), and to live through life, and all of the emotions available to us, is to expand the individual self and thereby allow expansion of the All- that- is.

Also lets not forget that as humans we are amazing creatures and will always find ways of evolving through trouble times, I like this quote, it says many things about our resourcefulness.

Any kind of humour, even a dry sense of humour is a sense of humour. I find my sense of humour will often crawl out of the cave many days after the latest uproar in life.  A human sense of humour is  another thing which is unique to us.