Bittersweet is the word I was looking for. It describes the wakening I felt this morning. The words to the song were "I'll be There" and comforted me, long before I awoke. The energy now is visceral in that I can feel it in my skin and bones and organs. And..."REJOICE that you have what you need TODAY".

 

- December 23, 2020 -

SHINE BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN

Express yourself with pleasure and optimism today. Your soul’s beauty is contagious, so go ahead and add positivity into your environment. Every moment will be magical with you as a lightworker. Don’t let external influences dull your sparkle. Magic comes from within. Shine brighter than the sun!

There is a change, and it does feel bittersweet for now, in that there is loss. Loss for the old ways of doing things, established and paths well trod, familiar even if not great. There is excitement and loneliness too, as in when you wake in a new place. We have all found ourselves in a new place, new territory.

 Bittersweet is a feeling that when you begin to open up to multidimensionality, you are still living in a physicality that may bring sadness as you witness chaos and see that not everyone can see what you can. Multidimensionality means You have opened up your own personal library of emotions that span spectrums of varying emotions. It is good to feel into these emotions and expand them too, like widening pizza dough in your hand so that the once small ball of dough becomes a different thing altogether when you have softened it and manipulated it with your being. It is like blessing and opening up an emotion with your fullness and multidimensionality rather then let it stay as it is, small and separate. When you widen the scope of the emotion, be it sadness, grief, loneliness, you invite miracles to bless it and then see the overlaying colours of the spectrum within which it lies. Then you see that there is much more to anything, more depth, more height, more vivacity, more frequency to anything than you used to be able to see. Insights come that were not there before.

An example was yesterday.

 I had done some food shopping, more than I had planned as the money situation is not great. I am grieving also for my mother who died in November. My fridge freezer has broken and I am storing food in a box in the garden. The kitchen (the heart of the home) is still unfinished and things are still in boxes. The garden is strewn with debris from deconstructing and renovating my parents house that we moved back into in November and as I say the money situation is not great, so nothing is getting done  soon. We have Christmas coming and I am getting into the spirit of it, but aware that I am doing it very differently by stepping up to it in my own way, not by clinging to old ways of doing Christmas. 

I had taken a walk on the Solstice and brought back small branches of Yew, and ferns, and a variety of others. I found a huge tree that I do not know what it is, but felt so drawn to it. I picked up a large piece of bark and a Hand shaped twig that had broken off the tree. I Love that they have the energy of Solstice woven into their wild nature, and It was bringing that into my home. It felt good, bittersweet. A lonely walk on a  foggy winters day had brightened by me bringing the solstice magic into my home. 

I also got from the walk that Nature is WILD, and can be frightening, and IS frightening to most people, that is why people choose to avoid nature but because they know deep down, in parts of themselves that they never go into, that we ARE NATURE....WE HAVE a WILD STREAK...we allow ourelves to BUY  pieces that reflect  NATURE, and that  fit neatly and safely in pots on our lawns and in books on our shelves. BUT the spooky old park showed me, WE ARE OF nature, and we ARE/HAVE the wild streak of nature, that so frightens us...IT is in this hidden aspect of ourselves that we have long forgotten ghost histories,  that frighten us when they rattle their chains at us.  

So, anyway, Back to yesterday, I had done my food shopping. I got more than I had planned. It was late and dark and as we have moved back into my parents home, (which means a busier, hectic partially forgotten but soon to be remembered)  unfamiliar bustle on the streets.  

I was NOT entirely delighted by it, but NOW I know this move is bringing me into exploring a hidden springwell of underground emotions that I am now able to explore in a multidimensional way. 

So we have moved into a home further into London, and I am back in the middle of crazy, multidiversity, city life. I decided to get a bus home. I had been out longer than I planned and the walk back through the city streets is long, and it was raining, again. It has been raining for days. Everything is being washed by the rain. 

So Back to yesterday and I Sitting at the bus stop, I was thinking I had spent too much, bought too much, two heavy bags instead of the two or three things I planned, and now I would have to spend more money to get the bus. But I was too tired to do the long walk in the rain. I thought I should have kept this bus fare money for something more needed. Something more needed in the future days. 

The thoughts were percolating but still I waited at the bus stop. Then my thoughts shifted to the words "Rejoice that you have the money for the bus today"...."Don't think that you Won't have this money another day when you need it and won't have it....because you make it so with your thought".

Rejoice that YOU HAVE WHAT YOU NEED TODAY. 

You can get the bus today, because you have the money to do so...TODAY.  SO REJOICE.

Everything shifted then. When YOU REJOICE IN WHAT IS PRESENT then you slip into the slipstream  of gratitude that actually enlarges the 'value' of what you do have. 

When YOU REJOICE IN WHAT IS PRESENT then you stream in the gratitude that

  enlarges the value of what you do have. YOU SEE that you have everything that you need NOW.....AND EACH AND EVERY NOW AFTER THAT. 

THIS brings the JOY of having at your fingertips....the magic of having what you need. 

Opening up the feeling, and exploring each emotion will be like opening a GIFT BOX. This is the multidimensionality that WE CAN TOUCH. 

So..allowing yourself to see emotions from an enlarged perspective opens up a giftbox that expands you and your experience. Moving to this house was bittersweet, but I am meeting with my inner ghosts and transforming them with gratitude. My only nature walk in this area is a spooky old park, but it has offered up such amazing insights and gifts, and turned into a walk that I know by the end of it something is transformed. I transformed my old feelings of CHRISTMAS into joy at the Solstice and brought the Solstice branches home for Christmas. Transforming the usual feelings at Christmas meant that the old bittersweet memories were bl3essed and transmuted into something new.  A spooky old park transforms to the pathway of self revelation and illumination. The spooky old park is a gateway for me to walk into my darkness, my frightening Nature and rekindling all the mystery of the darkness, reconciling with that darkness and bringing it home. 

And Chiding myself in guilt about getting too much shopping then having to get a bus home transformed from guilt to "REJOICE that you have what you need TODAY"....And if you do that everyday, you have what you need everyday. And knowing that  will transform everything, by magic. 

From a single low 3rd dimensional energy (reaction/thought/response) to recognise the potential in multidimensional magic.

And my Mother? Well I got in the post yesterday a photo from my cousin. It was an old black and white one taken in the sixties, of my mother and my brother and sister and me as small children. We were standing outside the house i was born in, not far from this house. The garden was full of flowers that I do not remember. The image showed us having a loving  mother in a garden of flowers.  The memories are thus transformed and I have gratitude, and rejoice for when I did have my mother, so grief becomes enlarged and transformed into a new spectrum of joy.

This form of multidimensionality WILL ENLARGE AS WE ENLARGE, and expand the spectrum frequency of each emotion and feeling. Watch as you do this with your thoughts. Today I read from the previous post by Caroline Oceana Ryan.....~~~ which explains it sweetly. Michaela. ~~

“Will it be soon, that we become sovereign and free?”

And of course, having been raised in the last dark depths of the third dimension, you must ask these questions with some concern, and no one could judge you for such.

We will only say, Watch your own shifting thoughts, inner indicators, and realizations over these next few weeks and months.

Watch that which you once thought unsolvable, un-healable, or lost whether it be Love, Abundance, Health, or Inspiration you seek—and see how new realizations, ideas, invention, breakthrough moments of new insight, increasingly come to you now.

Note your own life energies—that they feel Lighter, even in the midst of healing a trauma from a thousand lifetimes ago, as well as this one.

Note the life energies of so many others as they work to make sense of some loss, yet find a way to encourage or compliment another, be kind for no reason, or to give Thanks, though they have never had less to their name.

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And from the spooky old Park I got this. (as posted previously on https://inspiredheart8.blogspot.com/2020/12/new-bridges-of-consciousness-astrology.html

My thoughts added today. Find your Darth Vader.

Embrace your darkness. From an email to Hope on Friday a few days before Mondays New moon eclipse in Sagittarius. 

Out of Alignment? This misalignment calls for you to deep dive into your own personal 

When I was out walking it started get darker, and I Was thinking about the dark of mid winter, and walking around this old park with a layer of  spooky fog. 

What came up is that I have to embrace my dark. 

Like we are all a mix of luke skywalker and Darth Vader. They both are equal parts of the force BUT everyone wants to be the luke skywalker and keep their darth vader hidden. 

But embracing them both is balancing and expansion. keeping them seperate and being afraid of the dark side means you have to spend a lot of energy keeping it down hidden and suppressed. So suppressing the anger for god knows how long means I used up all my energy doing so, ( money is burned keeping the dark under wraps)...Remember I said the mould in the house was Me feeling sorry for myself, well anger itself must have been the map that was leading me up and down into and out of these places...i think that's how you walk through your karma. 

so its not even anger management classes i need, but 'see your anger' classes.

I came back to Edgware for many reasons. This is one. 

Coming back to the place of me, the 18, 19,20, 21 year old stepping into adult life, with no  guidance and no idea, or plan, or anything really just falling into and out of situations.

Coming back to see how far I had moved, and to look at the anger thing again. The darth vader.

coming back here to look at things deeper.

I couldn't go anywhere else until i wrap this up..If I am carrying unresolved anger then that is what I create from. So i need to see it, to see why i keep creating paths of frustration. Its no point trying to create a lovely seaside cottage at this point.

 I'd be bringing my unprocessed Darth Vader with me, and live in misery and loneliness because that is the energy lashing out from inside that needs to be seen...

I am really messed up. I Have walked this duality so far, 

this year, 

last year, 

the year before, 

each and every year before that,  thinking, planning how to get away from the dark feelings that threatened to bring me down. 

I realised I had spent years healing. healing healing. 

healing relating to this, 

healing relating to that.  hoping to be a 'this', or be a 'that' thing.... and only NOW do I get to see the whole mess. 

I sit in my garden with my tea, and it is like a dump site, a construction site....

where your spiritual self is reflected in  whats happening in your back garden...

 this is telling me a whole load of stuff has been dug up all summer..from the depths of years gone by, Pluto. 

and dumped where i can now see it. And it is affecting my stomach, making me sick huge reconstruction taking place.

etc,etc,etc.

tell me what to do with the anger that I cant feel. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow, I had to forgive and have compassion for myself and my situation, my history and parents. I realised the DARK had given me momentum and motivation to MOVE through and pull on the dark forces within me.

I realised HOW STRONG I REALLY AM. What I have done when I thought I couldn't do ANYTHING. 

 

Releasing the angst and unresolved, suppressed energy, such as anger, relating to how you 'picture' or 'frame' your experiences in life... allows the underlying power to merge with you. 

The dark is the power,
 and the light is what you do with it. 

If you deny your power, then you deny your ability to be consciously working with it.

If you see your light, and you see your dark, then you merge and yourself into a conscious ability to work with  power.

Relax and don't be in anybody else's energy while you pull through the mix consciousness mix (mess) of what is actually yours. 

So much more coming through during this shift. New Potentials and new levels of consciousness are allowed through when you make space for them.

Michaela.