New Bridges of Consciousness ~ Astrology from December 2020 Into January..Taking responsibility and recognising your own power. "something has been brought to your awareness....."~~~ (So suppressing the anger for god knows how long means I used up all my energy doing so, ( money is burned keeping the dark under wraps), "I didn't see this a year ago!!". >>"At a personal energetic level this is part of your soul growth: you had to show up and do the work " WOW this is true!! Michaela)

I had planned to listen to this days ago. But I had been in a fog and walked through the spooky fog in a park on Friday 11th December 2020 (but it stayed with me for days)  to let the energies percolate. 

When I listened to this today it actually resonated with what had been going on with me. 

Today 15th December, and one day after the angst of the new moon,  I feel so good about it. Michaela. 

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My thoughts added today. Find your Darth Vader.

Embrace your darkness. From an email to Hope on Friday a few days before Mondays New moon eclipse in Sagittarius. 

Out of Alignment? This misalignment calls for you to deep dive into your own personal 

When I was out walking it started get darker, and I Was thinking about the dark of mid winter, and walking around this old park with a layer of  spooky fog. 

What came up is that I have to embrace my dark. 

Like we are all a mix of luke skywalker and Darth Vader. They both are equal parts of the force BUT everyone wants to be the luke skywalker and keep their darth vader hidden. 

But embracing them both is balancing and expansion. keeping them seperate and being afraid of the dark side means you have to spend a lot of energy keeping it down hidden and suppressed. So suppressing the anger for god knows how long means I used up all my energy doing so, ( money is burned keeping the dark under wraps)...Remember I said the mould in the house was Me feeling sorry for myself, well anger itself must have been the map that was leading me up and down into and out of these places...i think that's how you walk through your karma. 

so its not even anger management classes i need, but 'see your anger' classes.

I came back to Edgware for many reasons. This is one. 

Coming back to the place of me, the 18, 19,20, 21 year old stepping into adult life, with no  guidance and no idea, or plan, or anything really just falling into and out of situations.

Coming back to see how far I had moved, and to look at the anger thing again. The darth vader.

coming back here to look at things deeper.

I couldn't go anywhere else until i wrap this up..If I am carrying unresolved anger then that is what I create from. So i need to see it, to see why i keep creating paths of frustration. Its no point trying to create a lovely seaside cottage at this point.

 I'd be bringing my unprocessed Darth Vader with me, and live in misery and loneliness because that is the energy lashing out from inside that needs to be seen...

I am really messed up. I Have walked this duality so far, 

this year, 

last year, 

the year before, 

each and every year before that,  thinking, planning how to get away from the dark feelings that threatened to bring me down. 

I realised I had spent years healing. healing healing. 

healing relating to this, 

healing relating to that.  hoping to be a 'this', or be a 'that' thing.... and only NOW do I get to see the whole mess. 

I sit in my garden with my tea, and it is like a dump site, a construction site....

where your spiritual self is reflected in  whats happening in your back garden...

 this is telling me a whole load of stuff has been dug up all summer..from the depths of years gone by, Pluto. 

and dumped where i can now see it. And it is affecting my stomach, making me sick huge reconstruction taking place.

etc,etc,etc.

tell me what to do with the anger that I cant feel. 

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Wow, I had to forgive and have compassion for myself and my situation, my history and parents. I realised the DARK had given me momentum and motivation to MOVE through and pull on the dark forces within me.

I realised HOW STRONG I REALLY AM. What I have done when I thought I couldn't do ANYTHING. 

 

Releasing the angst and unresolved, suppressed energy, such as anger, relating to how you 'picture' or 'frame' your experiences in life... allows the underlying power to merge with you. 

The dark is the power,
 and the light is what you do with it. 

If you deny your power, then you deny your ability to be consciously working with it.

If you see your light, and you see your dark, then you merge and yourself into a conscious ability to work with  power.

Relax and don't be in anybody else's energy while you pull through the mix consciousness mix (mess) of what is actually yours. 

So much more coming through during this shift. New Potentials and new levels of consciousness are allowed through when you make space for them.

Michaela.