Rain in the desert.

So, one of my blueprints is about how I don't identify with money.

But its not that I don't like it, I just don't know it very well. Of course that becomes a problem because trying to plough through the dry dusty realms of not having a fluid cash flow, is a dry dusty business, and I get parched.

So I wanted to check out the pattern of what is my money blueprint.

I asked the intention, to be guided by purity of heart to see the vibration of my money pattern so that I could see what it was.

A short while later that day I came across a photo book about the seaside town in Ireland where my mother comes from.

My mother has only good memories about her childhood. The fact that she came from the poor part of time is immaterial to her. She had a good life, fond memories and strong family connections. The town is a seaside town and industries have come and gone. The town has supplied seaside holiday memories for many many generations of Irish people. We returned as children each summer to this town, and to where my father came from, a seaside village some 7 miles away. So my love of the sea is what sustained me during my life in London and beyond.

The photos in the book I was looking at showed the town before I was born and a place my mother would remember as a child. She left her home at 16 years of age to come to London to train as a nurse. She had to earn money to send back to her family, as the eldest of 5 children. She was a child earning money to support her family. Throughout her life she continued to send money home.

I was intrigued as I looked at the photos but I wasn't aware till I was nearing the end of the book that I was opening a window into my own pattern of how I identify with money.

My holidays in the town were great, as kids we could run free. The kids we were running free with, (in those days) were a lot poorer then we knew about. The economy was bad, and the normal people of Ireland had suffered financial hardship for generations, the history makes appalling reading.

We as kids didn't know any of this. There were the affluent homes and houses and of course there rich people living an alternative lifestyle to one I was familiar with. The photos in the book showed various scenes and there were many of the more  prosperous folk in town. Of Course they were ones who had cameras and went to places where their photos were taken. I had not been aware as a child that there was 'prosperity divisions' separating people in life.... I was only aware of it and the side I was on. and joined in with.. when I came 'home'.

Then as I was looking at and seeing all these 'prosperous' photos of  a town I loved and knew so well, I became aware of a feeling of  'them' and 'us'. This is the best translation as I tried to nudge the feeling forward. I could only identify with this photo world from the place of standing in the 'non prosperous'  side. I could not experience the prosperous experience, because my experience was of the loving but mad, crazy but simple, collections of mind photos and memories from a poorer part of town.

It was not a problem, I have loving memories, but there grew a twinge of sadness as I became older and could see and witness this discrepancy between rich and poor.  The crux of it was that I could only identify with the 'us' that would be defined as poor. I could not identify with the 'them' that would be defined as the rich.

So, it was then that I could see how I had guarded my stance in the 'rich vs poor' stand-off that children seem inevitably drawn into, and, that is from the time honoured 'them against us'.  At first it would have been in a game-like way, from the photos, you knew who you could play with, they were the ones out on the street. The other kids you could not see, were playing in golden-rich corridors of another life style, which was very alien to our 'us' life.

I don't remember this being true for my life in London, there seemed to be more equality, for miles around everyone was in similar situations, with not such disparaging differences. Working-class life in London was fine, we ALL ran the streets. The rich suburbs were too far away for us to see, and so there was no 'them' and 'us' knots to nurture.

So the place in my heart, where I go to in Ireland, enabled me to foster and adopt the 'them' Vs 'us', Rich vs Poor identity status, held in my childish picture cards, and so close to my heart that I did not know they were there.

It sort of shocked me, but it was a welcome enlightenment. I had needed to see what my money blueprint was. Apart from a 'blueprint' stating "I am not Supported" I could see I had an unspoken black and white movie of children running in the streets, (us and them, rich and poor,) and I had taken my stance, as a child, that I could only identify with 'us', the poor and COULD NOT identify with 'them', the rich.

It was puzzling, but not bitter, it was a soft realisation that of course I can't relate to money because I identified with the 'us' of my childhood, in the place that I loved and that seemed to love me, and that was intoxicatingly different to my childhood home in London, and therefore those were the memories sealed in my heart.

The next day I decided to do a meditation about this to re-balance the skewed notion that had stayed in my pocket since I was a child. I started with the intention.
I change my reality to one where my identity is not 'saved' in poverty,
And played with a few variations of it.

Its good to stick as closely with the insight as it has presented itself.

I could go back to the energy in those childhood places and state,  "I Change this reality to a reality to one where I identify with prosperity". Or, "I change this reality to one where my identity is one with prosperity," or to a reality "where my identity is founded in equality".

I press 'Save' in my systems to save the "reality change" that reflects the desired attribute such as.... Money is a blessing that fills our lives with opportunities and allows freshness into parched deserts
 (where 'save' is the same as that which we use for our computer work).

The meditation then took its own shape and seemed to create itself as it went along, with me watching it as if it were a golden silent movie.

I was shown a bright light image where 'poor' was seen as a dry desert.  So that  POOR means you are locked into being parched, a status from which it is impossible to escape or prosper. 
I suppose the reality at that time wasn't so bad really, at all, but after generations of being parched in a dry desert, I longed for the play of water and release of water against my skin. I wanted water to fall on the cracked earth and to see seedlings breakthrough.

Then the images in my meditation showed the 'desert rains' beginning and water falling.  I was playing in the water and other young children were playing, skipping and running around in the sand, delighted in the contrast and the intoxicating and delicious feeling of the rain.

The water felt warm, and golden, it was more like a waterfall. The renewed energy, and new lease on life, fell laughing around me.  I embraced the richness and abundance of it, and took the water into my heart and hands, and let it wash my eyes and ears. I was laughing and saved this new,  'memory' into my heart.

Michaela.