I also met a cloudy grey dragon for grief, which then transitioned into Silver Dragon.
I was able to link the fear in kidneys to Grief in my lungs, Through the grey dragon. If you think about it, if the lungs are filled with grief, ancestral, famial, cultural fears of death and so on, then how can the lungs function to deliver oxygen to the blood to allow the alchemy of delivering life force to the body. The grey dragon then whoooshed through me from the pain in the back of lungs deep deep into me and through an portal of release.This healing was profound.
Today, I revisited healing, and this time I found Grief in my womb. Again profound, this time it was grief caught up in a baby sized clot, of stagnating blood that could not find a life force.
No dragons today, but the release was about giving birth to myself, again.....and this time, birthing oneself free from the grief that constricts and binds and does not flow into life. The healing today was about letting go of the fear of life, and its wounds and pains, and the fear of death.
It was about seeing that energy of fear of life, and the grief it brings with the death of many many things, fear of the pain of life and the pain of death.....with this grief there is no currency, no vital flow, no life. Only death of life, only anti life.
I saw that the anti -life had been constructed within a framework of mind, and this framework wasn't able to deal with the grief poured on top over and over again,....AND even where grief did not exist it was seen and experienced. Grief covered the place from top to tail.
It colours every relationship, and in defense a person stays behind a glass screen because it takes so much energy and effort to maintain that level grief, and so little energy is left over LOVE, anyone or to love life itself.
The repeated sequence of living in experiential grief, of the repeated reactions to grief, the repeated words, the continuous sighs, the life weighed down reinvents itself again and again until a person notices that grief is living anti life.
Its about cutting dead the repeated words that keep a person looping in fear, and letting a breath of fresh air in, with new oxygen and as you choose to be born again, to once again, take a big gulp of that white dragon oxygen, to oxygenate that red dragon blood, to get that alchemical life-force pounding through your system, again.
Its about stating "Yes! I know whats going on, but I no longer fear it, and take my place in MY LIFE."
I love the image also of Hokusai's The Great Wave. For me it means BEING IN the wave, to be a part of life, being in the hugeness of the wave, means coming out from fear of life and the dread of grief . It also speaks of the hope, born again and again, which is living regardless of turmoil.
You've got to be in it to win it. IF you are here, then you've got to be in the WAVE of Life.
If you are in it, then get to grips with it, and be full of it, breath life in fully, and let the consequencial grief fall out of you when you are done with it...don't hold on to it because it fills your lungs...and you can never be free from it, each new birth, or each time you give birth.
Michaela.
I was looking for an image of a cloudy/ghost dragon and found this image below, and then I saw the writing so I am re-posting this blog.
Grief can be orgasmic – it brings us back into the flow of life again when we release these huge emotions that are blocking us from within. We feel free again.
https://www.thefountainoflife.org/the-womb-of-grief-birthing-pain-into-ecstasy/
The Healing Power of Womb Grief
Everyone holds grief inside them, yet it is often not spoken about or misunderstood.
So what is grief?
Often we have a very limited idea of what grief is. We tend to view it as something that happens when a person we love dies. And that this grief expresses as a profound sense of loss and sadness – that we miss someone and grieve they are no longer with us.
Yet grief is a very complex process that includes many different feelings and stages – it can include shock, anger, betrayal, numbness, fear, guilt, shame, extreme liberation and joy or extreme confinement and panic. It can unravel a long thread of internal wounds linked to many life circumstances.
Often people aren’t ready to meet and hold the vast breadth of this process and all it will bring up and encompass….and often the full impact is pushed back down. And so it is banished to bottom of the well of unfelt feelings.
We can feel grief and grieve many things – from the loss of a job, to subtle changes in our outer and inner life. We may even need to grieve when we move into a positive situation and leave an old version of ourselves behind. 
In a certain sense, the word ‘grief’ actually represents the magnitude or depth of a feeling, which needs to be fully honored and processed. Sometimes we might not even have a name or a reason for this feeling that emerges from the ‘deep’.
We are feeling beings and not a moment goes by without a myriad of feelings flowing through us – hopefully we are fluid enough for these emotions to pass through us without too much trouble. We may be upset by a work colleague, or feel a little down or flat, we may feel stressed – and we can develop self care rituals and self-love to help us be with the flow of our emotional being.
But when a feeling emerges that we cannot process in our daily life or in our usual ways, whether we know it or not, we have entered a grief process. We need to give ourselves extra time and space to be with what is arising. We need to find the courage to meet it and embrace it, rather than push it away or distract. If we don’t, this wave of feeling will become stuck, it will be trapped within us.
It is never too late to grieve something, and grief waits patiently for us – whispering into our lives.
Key times this grief process arises are during relationship breakdowns, divorce, transition, loss of work, financial hardship, loss of health, loss of friendships, miscarriage, abortion, remembering prior sexual abuse, menapause, pregnancy, birth, infertility, hysterectomy, landmark birthdays, loss of connection with others, isolation, ill health of loved ones, loss of a pet, spiritual awakenings, and the list is infinite, because seemingly small events can be a doorway into our deepest pain.
Grief invites us into a feminine state of being, to be still, to listen, to rest, to nurture ourselves, to be with the simplicity of life, day by day. To move into a pace of slowness, interiority, gestation, introspection, embracing, and softness. To allow ourselves the gift of failing, giving in, dropping out, descending within. 
Yet often it is difficult to find the space and time for this, because we have been conditioned personally and collectively to be afraid of this feminine dimension of being – where we meet and immerse in our most innermost feelings and self. Where we experience true soul catharsis and transform from our inner roots.
Instead we live in a world that encourages us to ‘put on a brave face’ – that values strength, doing, getting back to work, activity, the ability to overcome or suppress difficult feelings, to toughen up, get hard, to overcome and ‘beat’ grief.
We can even tame it with psychological or spiritual language – to control the rawness of what is happening within us. To make it ‘safe and neat’. Often our body has to express grief for us, through illness, discomfort, physical pain, unusual events and accidents.
Allowing grief, showing grief, being with it, holding hands with it, giving it time to unfold – years if necessary – is a revolutionary act.
Often others find it difficult to fully support us or understand us as we are flowing into a grief state. It can be frightening to them – it may feel that we are unraveling, falling apart, letting go of what society most values. It will trigger all their deep and unfelt pain, which they have locked down and covered in a mask.
They may even get angry with you – you may get angry with yourself. Grief requires us to be patient with ourselves, patient with the feminine process. It is also an invitation into true self-care and self-love, where we prioritise our own emotional wellbeing above all else – even if people are upset we no longer seem to ‘have it all together’.
Grief is also an elemental journey – it helps us access the fire of our anger, of our broken boundaries, of our repressed No. It searches us out up in the airy realms of disassociation and mental ideas of how it’s ‘really ok, I’m fine’ and brings us back down to earth – back into the body memories of how it was not ok, and how you are really not fine. How inside you are raging, howling, destroyed, empty. 
Grief brings us to the floor – but in the humbling moment of ‘hitting rock bottom’, hitting the floor of our hidden, repressed feelings, we also find our ground. We feel our foundation, and we finally surrender and allow the earth to hold us.
We often associate grief with the heart, but the Womb – the feminine heart, the Divine Mother within – also grieves, and is the natural portal of catharsis. By allowing our grief to express through the heart and the Womb a profound process of deep renewal happens. We truly get to the ‘root’ of the problem.
In the heart of our Womb we discover our deepest grief, which is entwined in the grief of our ancestors, where our most unspeakable ‘unknown’ loss is held – the pain of Gaia herself, the collective feminine pain body, the loss of our sacred sexual selves, the terrifying feeling it will never be ok, no matter what we do.
And at the very bottom of the darkest of black oceans, we realize that at the centre of the pain lives this seed of redemption – that the darkness is the Black Light of the Womb of Creation who is always holding us, and never left our side.
If we let go and descend into this black hole, it will completely immerse us in love and rebirth even our most deeply held wounds of loss and anguish.
We can feel an incredible ecstatic release in this surrender of allowing something vaster than us, which includes us, to hold us in our grief. We enter the Womb of Love. Pieces of us that were stuck, forgotten, stagnant, now begin to flow again on fresh waves of energy, on new creative threads, in the energy of renewal.
We begin to swim the dark, shadowy waterways of our psyche – like a rebel mermaid, searching for the pearls hidden within our most traumatic experiences, willing to finally go to the places with ‘do not enter’ signs.
Allowing ourselves to grieve is the greatest act of self-love, it creates fluidity, lightness, movement – it allows us to let go of the pain fully, by feeling it fully.
It is also gives us permission to be fully authentic and to include all of ourselves in our expression, rather than cutting out or splitting off parts of ourselves.
Grieving was always known as a feminine art – it was a much valued and honored process. A person never grieved alone. They grieved in a tribe, in a village, in a community. One person’s grief belonged to everyone. 
People grieved ceremonially, they chanted, prayed, danced, wept – they allowed the grief from the deep to completely undo them, and to be held safe in the vulnerability of allowing this fragile part of them to be expressed and explored.
Grief can be orgasmic – it brings us back into the flow of life again when we release these huge emotions that are blocking us from within. We feel free again.
By allowing the events and feelings that have brought us the deepest pain to be expressed, we begin to carve a pathway to remembering the pleasure of life. We begin to rebirth.
Your tears are sacred rivers, they are the holy menstrual flow of the feelings of your soul. Trust your grief, walk with it, allow it bring you back to wholeness.
To find out more about Womb Grief Rituals click here
To find out the nearest Womb Grief Ritual to you click here
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