Forget-me-not. Cocooning with The Kiron Wound. H'oponopono'ing the wound.

Recent Excavation of the Kiron Wound.

this latest excavation of the Kiron wound began this past weekend In a series of unfoldings.
1. At the bottom of  the Back garden, of our rented home, by the trees, there is a crop of beautiful forget me nots.
I had spent some time considering that the whom we are 'Not Forgetting' are the beloveds past over, or those, in these now times, that we cannot spend time with...Then I thought perhaps it was Mother Nature who was asking 'Not to be forgotten'...I thought then that it was all those things, people, past and present, and our 'growing selves' currently opening up in the sphere of this planet Gaia and all its change. I took some photos, and then on Friday I brought a small bud rose bowl back from my parents house, and placed a small hand picked bunch of forget-me-nots into it on Saturday morning.

BAck story.
I believe that the energies of where you live can be allocated a spiritual placement. So the Back Garden is representative of the private spiritual in-dwelling of the soul and all that it contains awaiting to be integrated. And the front garden is the outward face of the spiritual in-dwelling, the visage, so to speak. In the last house we rented, the back garden was enormous, sooo many trees and bushes, shrubs and beds , roses, and all kind of flowers. The garden had been established many years and worked by its owner. It was truly difficult to manage but we did what we could with it, and I loved it. I was so sad to leave it when the owner decided to sell, and we moved to this house in 2016, with a paltry back garden by comparison. I often thought what did this sad garden have to tell me.
Over the years it has become healthy and vibrant with growth. But..in the years we moved in we have been overwhelmed by so many things that looking after the garden wasn't one of them. I grew to enjoy the garden and now feel so sad that we will have to move again.

The overall issues are that leading up to the lock in, I have been going backwards and forwards to my parents house, clearing and cleaning, and with that the slow feeling of  integrating and loving the
 immense 4th house clearing. The fact is that I am supposed to sell it in order to buy a home for me and my family...but the corona virus has shut that door. So I am still renting, and not able to change that for now...which isn't the issue and nor is the all the other money worries, but what is the issue is my My Panic. My panic is a subdued one and one which I am suppressing in the hope that events
show up to make it clear to me about 'knowing what is the right thing to do and NOT making a an irreconcilable mistake' for my family.

So while I haven't been back to my parents house, for quite a while, and when I did go back on Friday, I felt hugely irrationally irritated about everything. Nothing is going well, we are putting in huge hours all by selves, because we cannot pay anyone to do all the things that need doing to sell. The issue back then was always, if we couldn't get a buyer who could pay the amount we need to: clear a huge Inheritance tax bill
and pay Stamp duty
all fees for the agents
all fees for solicitors
all monies for the move into a new home
a new  home that does not need much work
....because we simply do not have the money to cover any of it, other than what its paid by the buyer of my parents house....Which is difficult living here, or anywhere within a radius of 50 miles...So the next issue was always..where ARE we going to live????...
If we cannot find a buyer that will pay the amounts needed for us to buy our home, then we will have to move into my parents house...All within the LOCK IN AND DO NOTHING phase. If we do not we will get further and further into debt. So I am relying on split second timing and the absolute right outcome for all concerned.

So that was all put on the back burner, as we settled into the cocooning of the lock in. Nestled into a slow down, loss of time and not caring, forgetting it all, loving the chance to get a breath and a breather from the issues bouncing around...OUT THERE.

2. Coming back from my parents house I was really agitated, and telling my partner in a frantic manner that I did not want to move back into my parents house. So he was wounded thinking that it was THE ONLY THING we Could do, and all the painting and clearing we were doing, he had found a new mission which he was liking. BUT I WAS NOT LIKING the huge amount of work that I (we) was still enduring relating to my parents house.  He was hurt and I was hurt because even though we could see the points we were each making...we had come to a road block with the LOCK IN. A decision was far away that we were both comfortable with. Vague Timing and lack of money was creating abundance of confusion.

When we got back from my parents that Friday evening, there was a 'smell' here in my rented home.
The smell was like an old cooking smell, food cooked like a curry, but not specifically so. I had not cooked a curry for a while and so there was no reason for it, but also it was old, like the smell of someone who spends a lot of their life in kitchens with little ventilation and when
the cooking smells attach to the skin, and washing does not seem to clean the smell off the skin.

When I am aware of a 'smell' I always figure out if it is physical first, then work out if it is energetic.
 I was exhausted as usual after coming back from my parents house...it is always a 'deep in my bones' weariness, something i have had for years and years in dealing with sooo many long and hard to deal with issues based on ME being  'the responsible adult' in my
parents house and for my parents.as well as evrything else, piled in on top. I had been so calm for a long time Until we decided to back and I had forgotten' after only a few weeks of not going there and being THAT RESPONSIBLE PERSON.
Anyway I used a sage smudger and that seemed to clear the 'smell'. But I knew 'it' wasn't gone because I was too tired to get to the bottom of 'it'.  The smell was of cooking, but overlaid cooking over days, now faint and musty, of curries but I always open doors and windows and no curry had been cooked for days.

3. Saturday, we went back to my parents house again, again aware of the lock in, but feeling I had something to do, My daughter came with us, and we were painting and clearing and didn't get back till late on Saturday evening, all was Calm. and when we got back home, there was No smell.

4. Sunday, I looked at the back of the garden.I had a supreme urge to go to the bottom of the garden and cut back the brambles that had taken over and grown in and around taking over the other small plants. I knew that 'spiritually' this was a representation of something I needed now to grip by the roots and pull out. What was it 'spiritually' ?
All afternoon i was pulling and cutting back, the fiercest of thick brambles which had wound in underground and continued its growth by popping out new sprouts of bramble tendrils everywhere.
I had been so busy since 2016, with other really extreme issues leading up to my father's illness and death, the same year we moved into this home, then supporting my mother and her situation. The events had become excruciating up till 21st November 2019, when we managed to move her out of a nursing home in london, and back over to live in Ireland with my sister. The brambles and overgrowth had crept in unawares as life was careening on its own pathway OUT THERE. So many things had been overcome and so much healing and clearing, releasing and integrating had occurred that even during this LOCK IN, I was enjoying NOT having to BE SOMEONE or DO stuff, that I really Had no longer, any energy or enthusiasm for. 'Spiritually' this IS a lock in I AM using for me.

5. This morning, while it was quiet, and before anyone else got up, I realised my neck and shoulders were aching from pulling all the brambles, so I just sat quietly with the cat on the sofa, cushions arranged to support my aching neck and shoulders.
I was aware there was 'something' hovering, waiting...an idea, or something as yet intangible.
Then the Cat woke up from her calm, snoring sleep, she quickly got agitated as if she was being pushed off, and shot off the sofa for no visible reason.  She stayed by me and curled up on the floor by my feet. I reached down to stroke the cat, and could smell the 'old cooking smell' again.
I was troubled by it as these 'smells' can indicate an entity or an energy. So as soon as I knew there was something there the smell disappeared and I had to figure what kind of presence was here.

I surrounded myself and sealed my aura in liguid gold light and asked that I only be contacted in the light of higher self learning and in the essence of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. I could sense that to get my attention the 'thing' pushed the cat off the sofa in order also to 'sit near me'. So Intention set with 'full love' in force i waiting for an introduction.  I asked a few questions, is this a 'house spirit'? or is it an entity that is related to me and my energy?

The presence, thing, entity or energy, gave me a visual without words, of like 'a homeless being', a man of sorts, lost, troubled, folded in on himself. I thought at first  that maybe it was a person who had passed over and wanted my help to get into the light. But it was less tangible than that even. The 'maleness' of the energy was not a description but a cue to where it is in me...The SUN is the conscious male counterpart energy, which becomes distorted with issues. After a while i could sense the unfolding of what was presenting itself to me...The feelings of grief and resentments becoming 'real-like'entities that enfold the SUN part of the conscious to the extent that this becomes an etched MASK of identity, which is worn over and covers the real SUN's IDENTITY. It is the back story of the build-up of resentment, sadness and despair, where the real sun shine , the real sun personality is OVERLAID with a Karmic destiny...and the presenting Sadness is the reaction and response to being on a LONG MARCH into places that, I would have preferred not to go....but SPIRITUALLY speaking, I had to. The feelings came up to do with cooking initially. Naturally I love cooking and food. But over the years I have had to cook meat, to cook meals after meal, for year upon year, whether i was able, happy to It was my responsibilty to cook for parents, brother, my own young family...everyone waiting while I am consuming all my energy in this cooking olympics, day upon day. All the fun adventure and creativity in cooking (Cancer Ascending signs are all food lovers and enjoy food and feeding their family and friends)  and food gradually took a backseat. It had merged into a foggy lacklustre occupation of responsibility made even more difficult by the awesome and tiring, and sometimes debilitating Ascension symptoms i experienced over the last twenty years. The phrase is Obliged. Obligation that i took on and that reinforced the service and duty sense, taking me away from being in the sun, playing, painting. The obligation helped along with the coordinates of my Capricorn Moon and my Cancer rising sign, puts family duty and service to bring Karmic balance to the forefront...Then you have to balance the fall out from that too.

So this entity was a version of me, one which was a walking ghost, tired and emotional, lacklustre and still seemingly waiting for a break. Other things then came out.

When other entities floating around are a match for the energy emissions of that entity, they sort off come and join in, join on, in sympathy so to speak, attracted and so it grows like a tumbleweed blowing through the spiritual valleys unseen because they are not addressed, not acknowledged, not accepted and not expressed. they remain like your own personal ghost, walking through your mind, rattling chains...that get louder till you eventually hear them, and look at them and express love for them. these are the demons that have been pushed away and become 'REAL' someplace else, becasue you have NOT allowed yourself to SEE them in your own vicinity. But the someplace else is actually always around you.

The kiron wound we bring into this life, has different effects on each of us. My Kiron wound is in my midheaven, my tenth house, so it has the effect of being 'obvious and the telling Visage' of what and who I became in a very public way. My Kiron in my 10th house, is actually saying that this is the most important thing I do. My healing and 'self',as healer and my work in my 'self healer' IS THE THING I AM HERE TO DO.

The other smaller bonding sadness, entities, energy balls, nightmares come to join the Kiron wound that I camein with....The kiron wound is the seperation wound, where the belief is that we are separated from God source, and all the fall-out that that 'belief' or 'perception of reality' causes all the ongoing and ensuing reactions and responses in life. It is different for each of us and acts out differently in different ways...until we are ready to 'READ' the language of why we are reacting and responding in ways that replicate more hurt.

 When we are ready to READ this, we begin to decipher the VERY KIRON WOUND that brings the key to unlock the prison door we have created and locked ourselves behind. When we get to unlock that door, we get to SEE the SUN, our SUN, our beautiful SUN CONSCIOUS in all its glory.

Sitting with this 'homeless man' entity this morning, I was chatting to a man I knew well, I could see its sadness, I could feel all the stories spiralling out form the centre, of this life and others...many belonging to my father and my father's father, my son, and all the women conjoined in the dance of separation, of false identities and roles, of hurt and hurting, each continuing the story but with our own version and own variations thrown in and presenting different scenarios to us and those around us. The female version of cooking a relentless duty, became a relentless DUTY of service, once a noble love filled duty...but when tinged by the wound getting bigger,it has to become bigger and more distorted in ORDER TO SEE HOW IT IS PLAYING OUT FOR YOU.

What began to fall out was all the ways the incarnation identity can be sidetracked or hi jacked according to what NEEDS attention in order to activate freeing up of something suppressed due to distortion of obligation and where we have given our power away, where we are Not sovereign in our being or where we have lost Authority of our intentions to playing a role in a game where the die has been cast before you joined the game.

Excavating the Kiron wound, means being carefully aware of the sadness that you carry first, and then gently working around it, digging the soil that the weeds have grown in. Be Compassionate, and
NON JUDGMENTAL. Do not Judge or find a victim's role in response. Be authentic and real, be present to what is presenting. Do Not Be afraid because that will push it away further.

I didnt have much time to do much with this presentation, but feel that the energy of the homeless man had changed into one of Maverick, Man of the land, whose face shone like a sun, not of this world. It occurred to me that He was Always This...its just my own reactions and responses building upon the sadness of the Kiron wound carried in with me, each incarnation and felt keenly by the separation dynamic inherant in the male and female roles and identities we land into.

i did some H'oponopono "I LOVE YOU, I AM SORRY, FORGIVE ME, THANKYOU", AS I Know at the Kiron wound is the identity we take on when our SUN identity is overwhelmed in the miasma of unhealed personal hurts.

For me , the homeless man needs no home when the sun is shining....But it is possible there is more to do with this.
The garden looks lighter, and brighter, the brambles that suffocated the smaller plants have relinquished their hold and so the sun reaches the spaces where there were only thorns. The spirit of the garden has allowed the representation of how we can get lost while we forget the kiron wound, then the brambles grow and suffocate the other aspects of light Until we bring our attention back to it for integration, love and forgiveness of self for all the lifetimes of doubt and fear and resentment for our obligation to being immersed in roles, all energetics that we then have to balance out karmically each passing lifetime.

Forget me nots are there also to remember to look for and find the 'self', the SUN self under all the kriss krossed moon and Kiron wound brambles.

I feel there may be more to come on this topic.
Michaela.