A Reading My Channel Members Requested to be Shared Publicly. Witch and Scythe....//// This took me two days at watching, very profound and I want to say explains where i am right Now.. But is that oversharing?...When Trying to communicate and connect with an online space, in place of having a 'connection slot' of one's own...(and, again I'm oversharing....And maybe I do need to stop over-sharing in this blog!!! A direct Question to self? ...AS I realise that I started this blog, ... to SHARE, to journal and to mind-map 'WTF' was swirling and streaming through me, without a decent outlet to channel it to. I needed to let it either land...or to wash through me, It turned into meeting myself, bit by bit. A Big time therapy space, to meet and greet all the "WTF's" that couldn't be comfortably accommodated anywhere else...so THIS is the place where they all land. ) XXXX ....Back to today and to this very hot June/July phase. I always have elements of the bright burning heat of the summer, that usually leaves me bereft of something, and this year's summer sun Intensity, has superseded that. Where the sun's gaze pours illumination on where I am lacking, and it is uncomfortable to say the least, excruciating sometimes, as situations and relationships show glaring evidence of my "non complying with self". YES there is burning intensity within that, that cannot find a chink in the wall to free itself...So that is when you find your boat is still drifting down other peoples slipstreams. Filling spaces for them, and being the crew members to their boats, to get them to their destinations. The photo of me below is of, not where this begins, but where a season of -shit hitting the fan illumination- begins, (from 2016) and so begins the ensuing crocodile-death-roll with me, actually FOR me...(*) until I UNDERSTAND....and get it right. !!! Because I HAD NOT seen reflected back to me, NOR had I looked within to find VALUE of me, and the act of centring me, in my life (a trauma throwback) and this is when the captain of my boat, gradually allows their skills to facilitate, becoming a crew member to manage other's boats, to their destinations. Not even by consensual agreement, just freelancing my unpaid time, just by implication and just because...Then my time and expression dries up, and exhaustion kicks in, and my boat and my destination just got swept away from me. But why? the situations called for my "empathic superman" cloak... (well implied really, to my empathic superman " reactivity and response" to abnormally harsh situations..... but I could have said "WTF.. I have a life too" ...ahhhh it was not to be, and SO lessons needed to be learned.) But this pulled me in deep dark empathic spaces that no-one should go to, that showed me .....Ahhh you see, oversharing again...Its like the ego voice in me wants you to know, all the WTF's I went through and wants you to know the real me underneath all that..."I am a real person with my own thoughts and feelings".... SOanyway, knowing that 'out there' they could not really understand the 'real person' talking to them, to the depth of connection required to soothe my soul, I listen instead and acclimate to their level, and I'm never proved wrong when I think "ahhh they will not understand." So I verbalise in a way that they prefer or have the capacity to, I reflect back or sometimes mirror....But never really finding the space to share appropriately, I no longer share or overshare 'OUT THERE'. But that means I probably block all my "expression" pathways too in the search for meaningful one connections. In this video, we learn to say Fuck it. AND Done with it. Done with holding the mother Theresa card for everyone else...I'm going to hold my Crocodile card in memory. (This video isnt about Crocodiles or is it? If any of this sounds true for you, then I totally recommend watching this)... Michaela .\\\\\

(*) So the crocodile death roll. I have the advantage of seeing this play out everyday, the little puppy, getting bigger, when asserting her dominance will use this tactic with all of her soft toys...often continues for hours until she has subdued it. An aside...Maybe in the summers heat, I have been doing the death roll with all thats inside me that I cant get out to subdue...until I can.!! Or maybe its showing me how a giver can be taken be taken for prey and have their life force used by the predator...If we dont wake up before, SURELY...we need to wake up during, Little puppy showing me how she asserts herself, something I did not learn as a little puppy myself, just survived by adapting to reading the room //////Copilot Search Branding,(*). The crocodile death roll is a powerful spinning maneuver used by crocodiles to disorient, kill, and dismember prey. What is a Death Roll? A death roll is a predatory behavior in which a crocodile clamps its jaws onto prey and rapidly spins its body along its longitudinal axis. This spinning motion generates tremendous force, allowing the crocodile to tear off chunks of flesh, break bones, or drown the prey if it is underwater. Crocodiles cannot chew their food, so the death roll is essential for breaking prey into manageable pieces for swallowing. Purposes of the Death Roll. Crocodiles use the death roll for several reasons: Disorienting prey: The rapid spinning makes prey dizzy and less able to escape, especially underwater leozoo.org +1 . Killing prey: It can snap necks, break limbs, or hold animals underwater until they drown leozoo.org +1 . Breaking up food: Crocodiles rely on the roll to tear large prey into smaller, swallowable pieces leozoo.org +1 . Asserting dominance: Crocodiles may use the roll in combat with other crocodiles to establish territory or compete for mates leozoo.org +1 . Mechanics During a death roll, the crocodile tucks its legs in to reduce drag and uses its muscular tail to spin. The jaws remain locked on the prey, and the body rotation provides the torque needed to tear flesh or disorient the target. This maneuver is effective both in water and on land, though it is more commonly observed in aquatic environments.