Painting in the soul, by the soul... Remember the "I AM" ? Remember that growing towards it's fruition, is a series of unfolding AM I? scenarios (Karma). Which become increasingly vague and distorted and lie undetected in Karma. Where karma only flags up where balance is getting skewed in egoic fears.

Painting in the soul, is how our soul communicates. I often wonder why i dont get the feeling to paint these days, too much other stuff going on and I don't get the space to paint unhindered or undisturbed. I often feel that In a past life I must've covered that scene too well, perhaps that is all I did, maybe to the detriment of all other things, so perhaps a bit unbalanced, maybe physical life was too bothersome or perhaps a downright pain in the heart.

So, two things.


1. the language of the soul is not spoken, verbal or written. It is a spatial quality. It communicates through awareness of a type that only comes to you when you go within. This communication reaches to us in the form of symbols. 'Symbols' what the soul draws on the ground or paints pictures around us for us to experience. The communication between us and our souls is music that we cannot hear, but that music finds corresponding imagery in the symbols that imbue life here.

2. Karma is what you walk about inside, that unfolds itself into your outer experience.
From  a meditation I got that the awkward/internal conflicts,  are our individual personal responses to answering the "AM I? question". The "AM I? question" is flowing a whole host of energies towards you in order to gain clarify through the fog. But the fog thickens in the physical sense, but provides the workings for the unseen workings to unfold. An example is where, say for example, the 12 houses represent for you the map. Where there is most discomfort, in which 'life' category those houses represent,  is wherein lies the fears that are almost unable to be described, and so events that 'gut' us are felt deeply but are usually UNdescribable, SO they are seen through an intermediary in our waking life. Other people, places, situations and events work up within us the corresponding feeling that mirrors the inner sitaution. So for example, my  rising sign is Cancer. I seek connection in beauty and I am very sensitive and sometimes quite emotional, fragile even, with a Capricorn moon that means stiff upper lip, and I have to do this all by myself, get on with it and grow some....Also it is quite a depressing moon for a sensitive person. So for Cancer my house, my home, where I live is my working scenario. Every ritual and cleaning and clutter, is memorised and curated with care. We have long memories. So IN MY HOME, when My teenagers are blunt, disruptive, angry or vague, or just filling MY space with their indifferent energies....and when fill the house with more teens, with even more indifferent energy filling MY space.... even though I love my children, and like their friends, I feel overwhelmed by the hugeness of BULK TEENAGER SCENARIO's. I get angsty, or sad, neglected and unappreciated. But that is just the surface feeling. What is working through is communication from my soul, showing me where wounding has occurred and where the discomfort of karma is balancing things out. The colour of the feelings is like a painting. It is painting on you, within  you, an indication of what it needs you to know. Karma is the painting that you are both the painter of and the subject of the painting. And it is communication from your soul.

 So how did I get to this?

Feeling weird and out of sorts over the weekend, anxious with loads of discomfort in the 'relationships setting' of my life, I went for a walk with a camera to try and shift the jittery angsty feeling. I had forgotten how much I enjoy taking photos and the chance to get fresh air in nature, a lovely wooded tree area, practicing with a good camera was just what I needed. I was with my partner and we went to Stanmore Country Park.

Today I felt peaceful, so while it was quiet I decided to do meditation to work out why I was so angsty and  Jittry, a feeling that comes often. I wanted a chat with my soul. How to do that??

Just lying still, and going into the breath, I enjoyed the sensation as light filled my being and the holding of the in-breath for a while, was just like 'landing' onto the consciousness of the other side, where I could I have a conversation with my soul....I asked about the angsty feeling in my solar plexus. It didn't take long before a painting unfolded, inside me. In fact there were four paintings in total, each working on and flowing out from the previous one, in answer to the question posed by the one before.

Each was painted as I watched. Not with a brush, but symbols/images just opened up as if a painting was being shown to me as it was being painted. The first  was Similar to the light of  a Turner painting, much like this painting 'Margate from the Sea', but with much more light, depth and calm.


~~~~~~By the way, interestingly, it is wierd, because I have been planning to get an Art Exhibition in London before it closes soon, and was thinking to go maybe today.
 https://www.stmarylebone.org/crypt-art-exhibitions
The Theme of the exhibition is Painting asTerrain, and from the website. "In a recent solo exhibition of the work by Mary Corse at the Lisson Gallery in London, the curator writes that “Corse combines a philosophical quest for the portrayal of the infinite [with the belief that] humans experience reality through an externally subjective lens, maintaining that there is nothing static in the universe.”

This statement resonates strongly with the work of the seven painters in this exhibition. Like Corse, they are “experimenting with the concept of subjective experience in new and innovative ways.” The artists in this group seem to have in common a search for an imaginative primary creativity, a space for being, that which Heidegger defined as ‘the ground of existence prior to all knowledge.’ Their way of creating abstract forms from inner and outer worlds obscures pure referentiality. The materiality and process of using paint is the ideal way to capture this intangible expanse of life. The painted surface becomes a terrain for being for both the artist and the viewer. Robert Creeley calls this ‘the edge/ of being’.

The British psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott’s concept of ‘potential space’ posits just such an area of experience between reality and fantasy which functions as a container for being. The space of these paintings, then, becomes a place to find the self in our complex world.~~~~

~~And terrain is just what the soul describes in its painted communication. I finally got the answer but not in a quick way, it was a song, a painted song???~~~~


The first Painting to unfold was of a tiny boat in a seascape, of much brighter light, but similar to the painting above, not detailed but in the very distance, is a shore line with three visible pillars or wooden upright beams on a jetty. Presumably for the small boat to land.

The scene shifts to the second painting, and this painting was from the view point of being on the land and looking at the three wooden pillars/wooden upright beams on the jetty, which obscure the view to the sea. The sea beyond the jetty is distant and the boat cannot be clearly seen, it is obscured by the upright wooden beams on the jetty. Pretty soon the land on which I am standing becomes filled with domes and other structures that too, obscure the seascape. Life on land.

I know then that the tiny boat on the sea represents me in my 'spiritual soul' and that I am happy and at peace when there...The jetty with the three upright wooden beams is that which calls me back to the physical, and the karma. The jetty is how I manage to navigate back to and climb back onto dry land. this is representative of my partner and two children. If it were not for them being there,  and and the commitments/ and karmic experience that is mine to walk through, I would probably stay afloat on the spiritual seas in my little boat and get nothing physical done.

 The rigidness and comparatively 'real' quality of the view of the jetty that links the shore to the sea, and of the landscape around me represents the Physical experience, and is one which is very different from the sublime spiritual quality of being on a small boat, it can feel awkward and difficult to navigate. So looking back to the shoreline in the distance where only the three upright wooden beams  stand out as a way to guide, remind me/call me back to the business of being physical.

So I am guided back to the jetty, to the partner and to the children, to the House of 'where my karmic workings' need to walked through.

I asked," how can I bring the two together so that there is a softening".

The third painting was where the two paintings came together and joined as two halves. With a symbolic cross over the two where the two joined together to form halves, a further horizontal dividing line formed across, creating a formed a larger picture divided into four segments.
The air over the sea was in the upper right quarter, The sea with the boat was in the Lower right quarter so forming the right half, ie the first painting. The land and jetty forming with the three uproght wooden beams made up lower left quarter of the picture, and above that was sky, but a firey sky, so Fire formed the upper left quarter of the picture.

At the cross point in the middle, a circle formed in softened brush strokes. The softening circle, got bigger and so blended the paint,  and the centre of the four quarters softened into a swirl of circular strokes blending into the expanding circle. At the epicentre of the circle is a small point, is representative of my sun.

Again it is interesting that I have been wearing a gold celtic cross pendant  around my neck for a while, which I changed recently to a small diamond pendant. I slot through the holding link, a single larger gold hoop earing which acts to encircle the diamond in the middle,  I like to think it is my sun, as the arrangement is very similar to the astrological symbol for the sun sign. (Scroll down to end for meanings of the cross symbology).

The fourth Painting became a close up of 'a' person at the centre of the cross. The cross disappeared and I was looking at an 'old fashioned painting' of a person lying under a tree. The tree was huge, and protective. It was like a picnic in the sun where the person had lain out a gold cloth and was lying on it. At the point between the persons heart and the solar plexus, was an opening. The opening allowed all the 'stuff' collected therein, fear, misery, resentment, worry etc, to fall out like innards onto the gold cloth. Tubes of this and that, like blood guts and entrails....seemed to be coming from a black hole in the area between the heart and the solar plexus. It seemed to be an accumulation 'stuff' from times past, and lives past. It had all come to lie out, in the fresh sun of a sunny day, letting air get to it.

This painting was an old fashioned depiction of a person, and was similar to images seen in tarot cards. It was a 'still' illustration, very different to the living or 'live' paintings that the other three were. So perhaps for me the karmic walk that I do now, originated in times that are 'no longer' living, and so are depicted in hard illustrations that were not symbolic but were graphic...curiously quite the opposite from the soft symbols of the other three paintings. Perhaps this telling me  that for time being  the Karma (of worry and doubt and fear that shows up in uncomfortable ways) Must be 'seen' as hard and graphic,  but is actually the residue of now dead experinences only so that they can be  worked through.
It is THIS working through we do, so that ~~
" I AM" can be the answer the "AM I? question" where all fear and worry, and all deception and doubt can be swept aside.

My sun. My SUN is my conscious effort to work through the Karmic walk  which for me lies where it does, in the discomfort of the physical, BUT it is what brings softening to my karmic experience and which in the end brings resolution to the painting. The 'painting' (verb) in my soul is how my soul communicates with me.


Michaela.

The Sun Tarot Card Description

The Sun card presents an feeling of optimism and fulfillment. This card represents the dawn which follows the darkest of nights. The Sun is the source of all the life on our planet, and it represents life energy itself. There is a child depicted in the card, playing joyfully in the foreground. A symbol of our innocence, it represents the happiness that occurs when you are in alignment with your true self. The child is naked, meaning that he has absolutely nothing to hide. The card also depicts the childhood innocence and absolute purity. This is particularly emphasized through the white horse upon which the child is riding. The horse here is also a symbol of strength and nobility.

 https://www.whats-your-sign.com/celtic-cross-meaning.html

Symbolic Meanings Associated with the Celtic Cross

• Hope
• Life
• Honor
• Faith
• Unity
• Balance
• Transition
• Temperance
• Ascension
• Navigation

Symbolic Meanings of the Celtic Cross

The symbolism of the Celtic cross (especially the equal-armed cross in which each protrusion is equidistant from the center) is indicative of the human desire to know and experience the unfolding mystery of life. We could say that mystery can unfold in a 4-fold pattern in which the arms of the cross offer four ways to ascension, an invitation to objectively know:

Symbolic Stations of the Celtic Cross

• Self
• Nature
• Wisdom
• God/Goddess

The cross is an icon that illustrates how universal energies converge. It represents the harmony and stability of powerful, sacred energies both seen and unseen in our universe.

The cross is also a symbol representing the meeting place of the Divine energies. At the center of the cross-section (illustrated below) is the energetic touchstone where a concentration of cosmic power resides (symbolically).

If each cross arm symbolizes a branch of higher wisdom, and if there is a encircling symbol to represent unification of these four elements, then the center of the cross will be a focal point that is our spiritual destination. Indeed, should we meditate on the Celtic cross, and laser in on the very center of it – our energies begin to hone in, and centralize into this exhilarating experience of oneness. Try it. The sensation of oneness, wholeness and unity is palpable.

The Celtic cross meaning can also represent navigation. In fact, we can look to the cross as a symbolic compass, guiding us through a spiritual sea. In this analogy the cross can serve as a stable guidepost that always leads us to our “true north.