Cave art.
I started reading Carlos Castaneda's, Tales of Power, again last Tuesday 18th, but I was too tired to get very far. I read this book years ago and felt nudged to look at it again. I didn't remember much of it from when I read it years ago so I packed it to bring with me when I had to go stay at my mothers later the next day, Wednesday 19th. I didn't get a chance to look at it till Thursday morning. Several parts jumped out. The story is about the initiation onto the sorcerers path.
Before I left my house on Wednesday 19th December I was outside in the garden, after another busy day. I grabbed a few minutes and sat down with a tea and was just listening to the birds.
It was late afternoon and I was letting the peace flow over me before I had to get busy again and set off across London to look after my mum. The sun was low, it was not that cold and all was quiet apart from the birds calling. All of a sudden I was someplace else. As a child I remember the feeling of being outside, playing, as we come from winter into spring...the sun is still isn't strong enough but there was an eerie light to the days end. That same feeling comes to me still, 50 years later, everyday as the sunlight fades, I get a crash feeling, and is sometimes stronger than others. As a kid sometimes it was really overwhelming and I still get touches of melancholy even now.
The feeling was strong again as I sat in the garden. There was a melancholic feeling that there is a giant dome that encloses us, that shuts off the day and brings the night in. But this time it was stronger, in fact the message was in a visual that we are metaphorically/spiritually and literally living in the dark of caves. It is like a dome is shut down over us and we each inhabit a cave, of our own making, that we cannot see. These caves are the restrictions and boundaries, experienced and recreated by us personally and collectively in response to the 3d experience world of dark and doubt.... and night time is when it is more apparent.
Living in this cave life, what we express, is like cave man drawings. Emotions, motivations, what we see, do and think is what we write on our cave walls. Writings and drawings on the wall of the cave are our emotions and reactions and response to life in the cave, and the tunnels of caves that make up each 'civilisation' we live through.
I set off across London with this weird 'caved in' feeling, that was pushing itself out of me.
But I was delighted that at last I had got to bottom of this melancholy feeling that had found a voice to express itself. But what to do with it? How to get out of the cave?
I stood at the bus stop and the bus took ages to come. I watched as the glow of the twilight sun got lower in the sky, and I thought of the cave, my cave. Then I had the visual of 'being within my cave. Then I saw a huge inner glowing SUN in my cave, it took up all the space. It felt comforting and somehow uplifting and enlightening, but I still wasn't sure what I was looking at, and what it meant, and the visual kept appearing in my 'hearts' eye. This is actually different different from the minds eye, it is located somewhere other than the mind.
I was reading Tales of Power by Carlos Castaneda the next morning, before getting on with my very busy day, I didn't get to read far but a few statements by Don Juan seemed to call out to me:
"All of us go through the same shenanigans" (love this word, M)." The only way to overcome them is to persist acting like a warrior, the rest comes of itself and by itself"
"What is the rest Don Juan?"
"Knowledge and power. Men of knowledge have both, and yet none of them can you tell how they got to have them except that they kept on acting like warriors and at a given moment everything changed."
"That's the flaw with words"...."They always force us to feel enlightened, but when we turn around to face the world, they always fail us and we always end up facing the world as we always have - without enlightenment. For this reason a sorcerer seeks to act rather than to talk and to this effect he gets a new description of the world - a new description where talking is not that important, and where new acts have new reflections."
"When the dialogue stops, the world collapses and extraordinary facets of ourselves surface, as though they had been heavily guarded by our words. You are like you are because you tell yourself you are that way."
Don Juan explained that men were filled with configurations that could be wishes, problems, sorrows, worries and so on.
"The time was not right until now. As you already know, your spirit was unbalanced. To counteract that I taught you to live the warriors way. Well, a warrior starts off with the certainty that his spirit is off balance; then by living in full control and awareness, but without hurry and compulsion, he does his ultimate best to gain his balance. In your case, as in the case of every man, your imbalance was due to the sum total of all your actions".
After a busy day on Thursday, I didn't get to leave to go back home till 5.00 pm, again in the dark of the evening. And so I was travelling in the eerie time where twilight dusk is swallowed by dark. I wanted to know what to do with this stuff of 'sensing the cave walls', these cave walls that aren't so obvious during the day, because we are all busy doing stuff, but the feeling opens up and engulfs as the night settles down and gets it feet under the table. The 'sensing of my cave walls' stayed with me till twilight on Friday the Solstice.
On the Solstice, I got to see that the sun, the real - sun blazes into and through us.
We are live, living portals that the sun blazes through the darkness of the cave life and into us....
when we see THAT we can know and see cave life for what it is.... seen in daylight...
On the Solstice, I went with my man for a walk around Ruislip lido. It is the nearest place of nature to walk around through wooded area, with a massive lake. Its not amazingly beautiful and as with everything else in this 3d life, there is lots of fencing, carpark restrictions, and money to pay, you have to have a special car park membership ticket to park, which we do not have. The local authority (Saturnian) has created false hierarchy for you go up against, get fed up and go home, or find your own way off the popular path using your own hierarchical ideas. We did the latter..., not to be deterred, we went back to park the car quite a ways away, on a busy, unfriendly and non-pedestrian road, a way off from the road leading down to place. Near to where we parked we found a small inconspicuous path, a nature walk that brought us into the wooded area from behind, we walked into the woods that surround the lido and inclined a small hill overlooking the lido. And there we saw the low sun, shining its watery winter glow through the trees. From then on, I was easy, easy like Sunday morning. No rushing, just walking through the trees, wrapped up against the cold. There were not many people around and usually in the summer months it is crammed.
The watery sun was getting lower and as we walked we could see it through the bare tree branches snaking upwards from the swampy lakeside. There were swans and herons. Just peace. Through each bend on the path I looked for the sun through the branches and each time there it was and its reflection was on the lake through the naked branches of the snakey trees.
Wierdly and yet obviously in hindsight, along the walk around the lake, were signposted information about the solar system, depicting the rings of Saturn and the distance between the rings in relation to the distance between the planets. I didn't take much notice but my partner was interested in reading them so I drifted off into the sun in my mind.
It was then that I knew what I was seeing in my vision of the huge sun in my cave. The Inner sun I saw was the portal into and out of the cave. We are each beamed into this 3d world of 'cave life' through a portal, from the higher/other realms and dimensions of less dense existence, and that's exactly how get to leave. We access our self, our other selves , through our inner sun portal.
When we follow our own set of intuitive instructions, and follow our own bread crumbs trail we can come back to this portal and dance in the radiance of our own portal selves. It is always there, but we get landed into a cave, to work on our doubt, to walk through our doubt and from deep in our caves we create our expressions of those doubts, and project on to the walls of the cave- situations, emotions, relationships, problems and worries, which all act to recreate our doubts and failings.
We get stuck in them, the cave is the stuckness in this culmination of our actions, thoughts, feelings and projections which make up our 'reality'.
We get so bogged down in them, they become real for us and each relationship with other people and situations, are actually where we have given our power over to stuff outside ourselves.
In turn these relationships and situations happily reinforce those creations to re-create " I have NO power", making the cave walls deeper and denser, the "Spirit/Source or the 'great mystery' from where we came, sends to us birds and nature to remind us that we are free spirit, but we ignore the message and keep banging on and digging deeper tunnels to expand the cave living. We keep doing this until, one by one, we realise what we are doing. By following intuition and looking for the inner sun through the doom and gloom of the winter sky dome overhead, we learn that we become
100% by pulling in the power that gave we away to other people and situations .
We give our power away to the consensus 3D hierarchy, which is lower octave Saturnian energy (which actually closes the door to you reaching your own portal)
When we reach for our own Soveriegnity and our own hierarchical structure (higher octave Saturnian) we reach for the doorway to heaven, the portal to 100% Self and the SUN/PORTAL to 'heaven' from which we came.
Saturn is, according to Aluna, Capricorn energy and Capricorn (Saturn) is the doorway to heaven, so that we when we celebrate Christmas it is in the time of Capricorn, which actually tells us that this Capricorn time on earth (higher octave Saturn) is a time of heaven on earth. If we do the work we can, if we so wish to see it, can.
So you cannot leave this earthly round of embodiments until you pass the Saturnian Quest.
When you do believe/see/know that you are not part of the lower octave consenual hierarchy, you get access to the realms beyond this planetary solar system and Saturn Capricorn is the door through which you pass.
Which made me smile when I thought of all the signs, depicting relative distance between the rings of Saturn posted around the lido lake.
Sooo we are all jumping through hoops (Saturnian rings) in a quest, to claim sovereignty, to be a warrior and in 100% mastery of the higher hierarchical forms of self (higher octave Saturnian)...
...and so pull away from the
heavy,
density of so-called 'social consensus hierarchy'....... which acts in its lower octave Saturnian energy to scatter our self into various parts that are trying to be true to false hierarchy structures.....that simply only compound the doubt (cave walls) we came into work through and to WALK through....
And the Solstice? Well as the watery sun is low in the sky, and doesn't give us much day light, we are forced to have to look deeper inside to find the Inner SUN that is our portal through and out of the 'density of doubt' that we have pulled around ourselves, in order to discover and to experience.
The solstice, each year reminds us it is time to do this.... in case we get we stuck in it.
Michaela.
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