These 5 things disturb your happiness, and here's how to do deal with them
You’ll quickly see how your mind is the source of these disruptions.
Plus, I’m giving you 3 keys and 3 actions you can use right now to overcome these, by mastering your mind so you can be happier in your daily life.
Be sure to download your free Happiness Action Guide at the bottom of this page.
Happiness Disruptor #1 – Attachment to the Past
Many people are carrying the past around with them.
Thinking about what happened.
Thinking what should have been, what could have been.
Judging themselves and others for what took place in the past.
And when we carry around the past in our minds like this, we have difficult emotions that flow on. Sadness, hurt, guilt, regret and resentment to name a few.
These thoughts and feelings contradict happiness.
We know the past is gone.
It exists nowhere except as a memory in the mind.
So to be free of the past means learning how to use our minds to let go.
We have to train our minds to see the past differently, to make peace, to detach, and to live in the only moment that really exists… the NOW.
Happiness Disruptor #2 – Drifting into the Future
And if we’re not living in the past, the next most common place people live is in the future.
Eek! Anyone would think that the present moment was a non-option, with how much time we spend inside our noisy heads living in the past and future.
Our minds have a habit of drifting forward and imagining what’s going to happen next.
Sometimes that can be a positive thing – considering what we want, planning for success and being excited about the possibilities.
But more often than not, instead of rehearsing for success, so many people are unconsciously rehearsing for disaster. Worrying about all the potential scenarios of what might happen next.
To be free of this we have to train our minds to see the future as a blank slate on which we can paint whatever we wish, and to be very conscious about deliberating locking our attention onto scenarios that work for us, not against us.
By doing so, we not only free ourselves of negative drifting, but we help ourselves CREATE the life we really want.
Happiness Disruptor #3 – Fear
Fear is a dominant energy vibration in our world. You only have to turn on the TV news to get a dose of that fear vibe.
Yet it doesn’t have to be YOUR energy vibration.
It’s easy to get caught up in fear because of the way society conditions you to be fearful, and because of the way other people are constantly projecting their fears around you or onto you.
Fear is the energy of being “on guard” and perceiving threat instead of possibility.
While fear can be very natural and healthy in some situations, often times fear has become out of control because our minds have been given too much scope to run riot.
To be free of this you can take back your power by training your mind to follow your lead, away from fearful beliefs and thoughts in order to step forward confidently in your life.
Happiness Disruptor #4 – Caring Too Much What Others Think
Sheez… wouldn’t life be so much easier if we just did what we wanted and weren’t so concerned about what other people think.
It’s shocking to me how much time, effort and energy human beings spend caught up in trying to please other people, worrying about what others think, trying to avoid judgment, trying to get approval and validation, or painfully processing the criticism of others.
There are bazillions of dreams and aspirations all over the planet slowly dying because people are too afraid to GO FOR IT, partly out of concern about what others will think.
All of this turmoil starts within us. It’s actually NOT about what other people think of us. It’s what we make that MEAN.
We can’t live our lives dependent upon what others think, because we can’t control what they think of us.
Let’s be real – there will always be LOVERS and there will always be HATERS. Some people will get us and support us, and some just won’t.
The question is… are we willing to let our lives tick away into oblivion, while our goals and dreams sit idle, because of what judgmental people will think.
My take on it … DO WHAT YOU WANT and those who support you will come on the journey with you, and those who don’t won’t. And that doesn’t make them wrong and you right. It just is.
You’ve GOTTA let your LIGHT SHINE, and it starts with taking control of what your mind makes it mean when others think positively or negatively about you.
I’ve gotten to the point in my life, as the master of my mind, where I don’t care what people think.
If people really like me, and praise me, and give me kudos, I don’t care. It isn’t a reflection of me. It’s just the way they perceive me through their paradigm, and their own reality.
If people don’t like me, and judge me, and want to criticize, I don’t care. It isn’t a reflection of me. It’s just the way they perceive me, through their paradigm, and their own reality.
VITAL POINT…. If I got HOOKED on other people’s support and approval, that means I am EQUALLY HOOKED on their judgment and disapproval.
When you realize what others say and do is not about you, it all makes sense. It’s not about you when it’s lovely and kind, and it’s not about you when it’s judgey and unkind.
Everyone’s just running around trying to make their way in this world. while looking through a conditioned lens of their own paradigm, and projecting that into the world. Everything going on around them is just a trigger for their own inner “stuff” to come out.
When love comes out of someone, it’s because that is what is IN them in that moment. It isn’t you that generates that love, you just offer them an opportunity to express it toward you. When hate comes out of someone, it’s because that is what is IN them in that moment. It isn’t you that generates that hate, you may just have been a trigger for them to express it into the world.
If you take control of your viewpoint, by mastering your mind into accurate perspectives so you put less emphasis on what others think, you will free yourself.
To be free of this cycle of attachment to other people's view of you, focus on what you can control and what is most important. That is… what YOU want and what YOU think! So long as you’re aligned to your own heart and doing what FEELS right for you, that’s what counts. A robust sense of yourself, with positive beliefs about yourself is the key!
Happiness Disruptor #5 – Judging Yourself
And as if other people criticizing wasn’t enough… we funny ol’ humans love to lump a little extra on top of ourselves. Self-judgment.
Our minds come up with all sorts of stories about who we “should” be, and how we “should” behave, and what we “should” have and be doing, what we “should” look like.
We berate ourselves up for not being XYZ enough. If we try something and it doesn’t work, we tend to err on the side of looking at what we did wrong, instead of what we did right.
We’re conditioned from a young age to think we have to fit a mold, and we end up comparing ourselves to other people and measuring ourselves against societal norms.
Sometimes our minds are sneaky with this… tricking us into thinking we’re holding ourselves to higher standards, to be the best we can be. But there’s a line that’s easily blurred and crossed, where our desire to be our best self instead becomes non-acceptance and beating ourselves up.
To be free of this pattern, we have to train our minds into a empowering, healthy, accurate and loving perspective of who we REALLY are. We end the distorted view we have been seeing, and we create a fresh new self-image based on truth.
3 Keys for Overcoming These Happiness Disruptors
How do we overcome these 5 common happiness disruptors?
While there are a lot of things that contribute to feeling happy, there are 3 specific keys to happiness that I want to share with you today that will directly address these disruptors.
- The ability to live in the present moment.
- The ability to accept and love yourself just as you are, no matter what happens.
- The ability to freely BE yourself, no matter where you are.
1. Living in the Present Moment
Whenever you’re able to stay in the present moment, and not get lost in your mind, it is SO much easier to be happy.
You know what happens when you’re mind wanders backwards and dredges up the past, and what happens when it drifts off into the future. Usually this results in all sorts of uneasy emotions and thought patterns that don’t work for you.
But when you stay in the present moment, none of that exists. No past, no future, just now. And in the now, you’re here, and you get to just BE. That is a place of ease and peace, where happiness shines through.
2. Loving Yourself
When you accept yourself, like yourself, feel love for yourself despite everything (e.g despite quirks, flaws, areas for development, past mistakes and so on), then you shift out of judgment, comparison and resistance.
What remains is ease and peace, and happiness shines through.
3. Being Yourself
And when you love yourself, the flow on result is you’re much more likely to willingly BE yourself in all situations in your life – irrespective of who you’re with, what’s going on, or what you’re doing.
You’re comfortable in your own skin, and you show up as the same authentic you in all moments.
Common Sense
It makes sense right… because obviously being lost in your mind isn’t a recipe for happiness. Your mind seems intent, when left to its own devices, to focus on things that aren’t helpful and finding reasons not to be happy.
And when you don’t accept, like and love yourself, and you’re therefore not comfortable being yourself, there is no freedom. There is no genuine happiness.
For these reasons, learning to live in the present moment and learning how to accept, like, love and be yourself in all moments, are KEYS to a happy life.
But how do you DO this? It's easy to just say it, but what practices can you use to actually make that real in your daily life?
3 Practical Actions You Can Take
Action – Living in the Present Moment
On a daily basis, practice breathing deeply and slowly, while focusing all your awareness inside your body as you breathe.
This is a very simple way of bringing yourself quickly into the present moment. It gets all your focus into the here and now. It anchors your awareness into your body, feeling your breath, sensing the energy inside yourself, instead of being lost in your mind noise.
Action – Accepting & Loving Yourself
On a daily basis practice looking at yourself in the mirror each morning and each night and saying out loud, “I accept myself. I like myself. I love myself”.
If you feel uncomfortable doing this, it’s even more reason to do it!
Say it until you mean it.
If you find yourself rejecting this, because you believe there are reasons NOT to accept, like and love yourself, say this instead, “Even though I ______ (insert your objection), I still choose to accept myself, like myself and love myself anyway”.
Action – Being Yourself
Start to pay attention to how you FEEL and BEHAVE in different situations in your life e.g. at home, at work, in social settings.
Where do you feel most comfortable being yourself? And where do you feel on guard, pretending, holding back or adapting yourself to fit in?
Bring more conscious awareness to those awkward moments, and use breathing to get present in those moments. The more present you are in a situation, the more you take back your power over your mind and then make CONSCIOUS choices about how you choose to show up.
Action – Master Your Mind
And, my #1 tip for more happiness and less disruption, is to become the master of your mind – with a step by step process, for lasting transformative change. Click through below to see if the Master Your Mind program is right for you. We're ready to welcome you in...
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