Actuation.

So....from the previous blog post:
The First Quarter phase is Active and Impetuous. It is about putting the past behind, seeking individuality, and taking the initial action necessary to achieve your goal. The activity during this phase must clear away the obstacles so that the vision of the New phase will have a secure foundation to develop and grow. What can you do to initiate the actualization of your vision for this cycle?  What insecurities are inhibiting you? During this phase emotional sensitivity and feelings of being misunderstood can block forward motion. It is important to move beyond the need for approval from others.This phase involves the feeling-moving or kinesthetic body. The idea is to use body movement to generate energy that can then be channeled into creative expression. Physical action is the key to this initiating energy. Stretch, dance or engage in exercise to alleviate a sense of being blocked. Act on your feelings. Make phone calls. Write letters. FEEL & MOVE.

MOVING- Action.

For me during both first quarter phase, for August and September, were the times I had the Scintillating Scotoma phenomenon, the light visual that seemingly occurs for me, is when there are BIG changes in 'pressure' - dramatic magnetic field energy changes....

....AND it was around the time I was actually doing some 'physical' moving. In the actuation of letting things go. 

Both times I was at my parents house CLEARING through to clear the  energy. Both times was physical moving lifting and boxing up, releasing, I was urged and motivated to put into action, or actuate movement. I do know about Feng Shui, and even though this was not my home, my spirit and energy is tied into it.  

The first time was me trying organising to let go of my dad's books. I was shredding bags and bags of old papers. He has a vast collection on the paranormal, OBE's, life after death, philosophy and ancient civilisations... and it had come to dominate the house.  Even now they still have taken up huge space in what could have a lovely room. On this day I had arranged for a man to come in and take a look at the books. The guy came in with the same energy I not only recognised but  was familiar with, (intense, bookish and intellectual tinged with sadness and regret and loss, where his betrayal had been filled with the world of books.) He stayed a while and took some books home.

 I wrote in my journal later:

• N**** **** (author and publisher of mind body soul books) came to look at  dad's books.~ Still having conversations about him (dad) ~like he's still the centre of things~ Mum is still the centre of things - for me. Me and J are still around doing for them both. 
• Chiropodist took out a pebble of hard skin from my foot that was starting to hurt- In reflexology terms - it was removed from the heart. 
• found a letter from me, brings me back to why I went to Australia- job was really stressing me out, family stuff all getting hard...so I saved to go to Australia. In the letter (dated Jan 1991),  wars were going on BoB hawk had said, we are now at war! (huge bad energy stuff), also I mention about my dates coming home....(this decision was huge and a betrayal of myself!!!)

The second time I had the Scintillating Scotoma was this past Sunday, 16th September, again a quarter phase moon.

At my mothers house I was trying to clear a back bedroom, with wardrobes stuffed full of my dad's clothes. This room had been mine and my sisters bedroom as teenagers, but was now a weary heaving charity shop, choked-up with 'stuff' no one needed. I came across boxes of old vinyls, records from our younger days and also my dad's tapes and LP's. 

I had decided to clear this room and make it up for another use. But first there was much work to be done. Also, this room had already, in stages, been cleared quite a few times. 

I had a mind to turn it into a place to set up a sort of 'business', There was a goal to this. 

The goal was about MOVING FORWARD. 

Having already been to the supermarket earlier, I had taken down the name of a man who was a record collector advertising he was local and he would come and buy your records. 

So in the middle of shoving bags and boxes around, not getting very far,  I decided to call him. He was able to come over within 15 minutes. 

Together we went through the LP's and singles, mostly they were not really what sells, but he took some for himself, for a Juke box he had bought. He gave me a fiver. But he did put a box together for me of about 15 albums, that he said I could sell as a collection and get around £50. 

He was chatting on about the old days in the area...and in the same way as when the author came to my parents to look at the books, it was really surreal. I can't say why, but it was...as if it wasn't really about a man, a collector visiting to buy stuff, it was more than that. I was wanting to give away huge chunks of collectibles, that had taken root somehow, and needed to be gone. 

Anyway, this guy came in with the same energy I recognised and was familiar with, (as before, intense but more about money, and what he could get, also about his intellectual superiority where music is concerned, but his skittish eyes flicking around just distracted from the air of great sadness, regret and loss, This time, betrayal had been filled with the world of his records.) He stayed a while and left with some singles.

The physical act of doing this was probably enough to shake off what I needed, when I needed to. These guys not only performed as a witness to the act, which sometimes is needed because we need to mark it as being done, but also they provided the 'vehicle' (solution, motiavtion, actuation) for it to physically take place.

The "act" in actuate can remind you of this word's meaning — to put into action. A lever might actuate a pump, or malice might actuate a crime. Coming to us from the Latin word actus, which means "to act," actuate's meaning is simpler than it sounds — it just means to set in motion or activate some kind of motion.

actuate - Dictionary Definition : Vocabulary.com

https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/actuate

When checking through my journal for a slightly earlier date , I had also done some automatic writing: 

Bleed out the 'grey.' 
Its like carrying a large bag, (sack of self) behind you making the walk long and hard, then you turn around and see the bag, the sack of self, skin and bones of sadness. Bleed out the 'grey', drain your life blood from the 'grey' and stop its living. Pretty soon the sack of self will recede and the life blood comes fully within the self.Let this moment nourish you, that it can be done, and is in fact being done so. Cutting the vine back to bring on growth of the healthy vine....that is strengthened - by letting go the vines that have grown helter skelter, Reshape and resume.Take control of the shape, the boundaries- retrain them into the mould you wish to go.Trust. 

FINALLY. On being Michaela, 

I never write  By Michaela, I just sign off Michaela.

During my reflexolgy session recently, the themes that stood out were: 

" emotionally, not feeling able to move forward"  and also 

of 'negatively' impacted thoughts regarding communication, relationships and pleasure, and of issues displaying the degree of security of thoughts, more importantly that belief systems influenced by family, upbringing and social belief systems seem to be an issue (block)  in MOVING FORWARD....

....and this is where secure thoughts experience the fullness of life's adventures. 

.

By Michaela.