...an imagined Career appraisal with Saturn, king of Karma and taxes. Is it just about balancing the Books?
Your Saturn is in
Pisces
You were born when Saturn was in the Water sign Pisces. At the ages of approximately 28, 59 and 89 Saturn returns to the degree of Pisces it occupied when you were born and instigates a new cycle. Over the course of the previous 28 years, it circled and influenced every part of your horoscope from every possible angle, so that the chart’s potential gradually acquired form and substance. At seven year intervals, your experience was challenged and offered the chance to grow...
So lets get to my mid heaven career appraisal, with Saturn- Chronus the God of time and Karma. My mid heaven ruled by Saturn is in Pisces, and the only other influence is Chiron.....the wounded healer.
Saturn -. Soooo....we're here again and its time..(glancing at his hour glass sand timer) to appraise your efforts on earth....
And what have you been doing???
Me- Its definitely not my Saturn return, it can't be. Is it?
Saturn- Noooo. (Smiling. and then leaning forward) we are getting ready for it. This is about your standing in the world. YOUR Public standing, and putting into action 'that which' is your power to culminate and harvest at the end of this cycle...So Where were we? Ahhh yes, and what have you been doing? Law, accountancy, tax, rules and regulations, authority? Science??
Me- well since the last one (at 28 years) its been a hot mess. Yeah, I got some science. I had just got back from travelling and was so sad, I obviously made some strange kind of 'self -sacrifice pact' and its effects are the motivation which I am probably still working through. Anyway then I went back to college, working my butt off and studying through the day. I finally got my degree in science.. But then I worked in the pharmaceutical industry..which was...well er..ok. But after a while ,and a few situations that were making me sick, I gave it up to ...breathe and see what else life had for me.
Saturn- Ahhh, I see....So, no law? No accounts ? I see. Accounts is important, as it keeps records you see....
Me- Its ok, I keep records. Of EVERYTHING, it's all in my skin and bones, sometimes I cant walk I have so much stuff I am carrying around.
Saturn- I see...what happened then?
So.. as I say, I had a bad situation which made me leave pharmaceuticals and the science labs, and never return....Then I had a few odd jobs, like working in a travel teletext place, I had a cleaning job which I really liked. At some point It came to me that I wanted a baby, so I did. I became mother. I moved back to London to be with my seriously ill family and then had a second child. I also had a great job in a top London department store selling expensive skin care...but I missed my babies too much, so I gave it up and became a full time mum and home maker.
Saturn- I see.... (not seeing really, and sounding bored)
Me- Look I am cooking and cleaning. I am washing. so...much..stuff..
And whats all this with Aluminium saucepans...I can't get the truth on Aluminium pans, and I cant find a good alternative, so am I cooking with pans that are throwing up bad stuff into the environment and into our bodies????
Saturn- , (wearily) Look...(clearing his throat)... 'Aluminium pans', that is really not my thing. I AM POWERFUL, a 10th house kind of GUY, a Mid heaven- of career and placement in society expert. This is like writing an obituary of what you have reached to date, your cosmic place... its like if you died at this time in the cycle of this life...
this would be the mononument to your achievements....
All this stuff about cooking and cleaning, and pans belongs in one of the other houses, (muttering ..distractedly ) I am not sure which....some 3rd 4th or 7th house stuff...
Me- ...But THIS is what I do....I CARE for.....and its not even paid. There is no recognition. This stuff is not paid or not valued. It is seen as a feminine pastime and so it is given no VALUE and therefore of no
PUBLIC advantage
Where value is: the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.
"your support is of great value"
| synonyms: | merit, worth, usefulness, use, utility, practicality, advantage, desirability, benefit, gain, profit, good, service, help, helpfulness, assistance, effectiveness, efficacy, avail, importance, significance, point, sense;
informalmileage
|
.....And ...I have put so much of myself into it.
CARING.
For the last twenty years I have cared for my brother who lived with an incredibly sad illness, schizoprenia. My dad who was depressed and kept getting older and more ill, heart problems, diabetes, finally died of cancer. And my mum, who has since my teens suffered with Multiple sclerosis...I did the best I could, and tried to give my own children a great life..even though I can only guess what that might be....
Saturn- (slowly and thoughtfully) A great life huh?
Me- Yeah,
and it was hard, it was a struggle with all my own insecurities and wobblies. And I worked to do my own personal development. I studied counselling, healing, used art as a therapy. I re-found my creative art talents and healing capacities. I put forward my healing and art in therapeutic ways..
Saturn- So did this art and healing therapies become your career?
Me- well yes and no. Yes I started to, I tried to...but then no, it was hard to turn it all into a career and do all the rest. I am not superwoman.
Then too many things happened, one after the other, affecting me so deeply and so personally...It was like I was being churned inside out. My psychic stuff was hard to understand, and I just plunged into my own personal healing. I had to record everything. I had psychic stuff since I was little but No training, No outside validation. Just feeling and intuition. I was journaling and recording all the dreams and visions. Then there were too many to record. Over time I just remember them as they come to me when I need to remember them. Eventually I started a Blog, to journal and keep a record of writings that were helping me by validating..confirming and challenging my understanding of myself and what is happening.
Saturn- Is this a career?
Me- No. I don't think so.
Saturn- Perhaps it is.
Me- Well, its not paid, it doesn't bring me recognition, and I don't know who reads it so I cant appraise it. All I know is it helps deal with stuff.
And you know Saturn, somebody put into my mid heaven, Chiron the wounded healer....which means that all my failings and insecurities are public knowledge. Mid heaven Chiron is where everyone gets to see you damaged and flailing around...
Saturn- Ahh, Chiron... he's my son you know? I am very proud of him.
Me- Yes, he's a beauty.
And he's here in my Pisces and in my Mid heaven....And at this equinox he is in Pisces and square to you, with an Aries new moon.
Saturn- Aries new moon, means its time to pull yourself by your bootstraps and get on with being WHO YOU are.
Me- but who am I?
Saturn- well Chiron will be showing you the wound that has been stopping you, slowing you down..The Chiron wound is your deepest internal trauma and its so deep you don't about it...thats why its coming up for you look at. if you can't feel it...you can't heal it.
Me- But it seems I have a self sacrifice wound and how do I go about erasing that?
Saturn- Its not all bad. Some of the best people have that type of wound. You will find that if it is in your mid heaven that is where the healing will be of most benefit. Claim that what you have accumulated and the lessons are brought forth onto the stage (pedestal) of your life so that the learning of them can be manifested. Its like watching a film. In fact You do this later today... Make a DECLARation that they are now integrated.
So lets Wrap things up...... Is there anything else?
Me- But, but... there is all sorts of interference down here in this world, it can be chaotic and there is so much disparity, so much so that anything you do want in life has to be earned and paid for, like for instance finding a place to live, even the luxury of travel to different countries. You can't just decide and do this, you have to have find funding and resources, Money to pay the rent, that is the first thing, let alone finding money to pay for travelling. There is so much more I would like to do and be, but I have run out of steam.
Saturn- Ahh. I see. Are you skint as they say? Astrology not helping helping???
The major cosmic and celestial movements not helping???
Me- oh please don't get me started, Money isn't anywhere in MY astrology, Where is it? Theres plenty of spiritual stuff, I know that....I've got it coming out of my ears....As for this astrology, here is what is being put out for today: Mars is on a mission this week.
So with all this MARS input....guess what I have been doing today,
in between talking to you..
breakfast for my son, a different breakfast for my partner, and I put on two loads of washing, and hung them out on the line to dry in the sun (yes we still do that in England). Then son comes home from interview in London and has to dash on to a paying job with seconds to spare, so I make him lunch and iron his uniform for his evening job later. Then I do lunch for my partner. Then my daughter gets up (its her day off college and she has a different circadian cycle to everyone else) she is so disorientated and can't find what she wants to eat and so I do breakfast for her.
In between washing up all the items used. And then finding things (that I had put away in an effort to clear the space) for daughter who is arranging her outfit for a wedding in December (don't ask). I have Fed the cat and cleaned up two litter trays...(she only has 3 legs and needs two trays in different places).
Also I have planned what needs to be done tomorrow, because I have to do some official (money) stuff in town, and get some stainless steel saucepans in town, (I want pans that are not going to leach Aluminium into our systems) and then go on to my mother house to do various jobs there while my partner, on his day off from work does a big food shop...
Oh yeah and today I have completed and submitted three on-line job application forms...and its only 2 in the afternoon. It is a beautiful sunny afternoon and I want to go and be by a beach, or in a field, talking with the celestials, and generally just feeling the amazing vibes of it all
(the celestials have a hard job competing with the shouts going on here)....But I am in London, no beach and every open space is so long away. The crowds can press in on you, and.... I ....feel.... EVERYTHING...
....And as for the celestial movements...I CAN feel all the energies coming in, I get wired up, I get EXCITED, or I feel weary and depleted, I feel ascension symptoms as they just blast into every orifice and stream down every neuron pathway and fill my endocrine glands with their transmutational blessings. I can get blissed out and into delirious states....But WHAT do I do with ALL of it?
I am integrating everything...
...and Now, my Chiron, the wounded healer has virtual control, and I have to look into how this is making me feel too...
Also, today Mars is on peak, I am like "what to do with this mars energy??" don't talk to me about the cosmos. I just want to be fully me.
Saturn- Wow, crikey, and you don't get paid for this! bummer...
Okay, what can I do to help?
Me- I am JUST TOO spiritual, All my SATURN (business) stuff is in Pisces, Which i take to mean that 'Spiritual' is where my business is. And that's fine.....I just need to know I am solid too, I am stable and worthy to action change for my physical life for a smoother ride. I want to embody 5th dimension Love, I want to co create, I want to be the I AM that I AM. But With all the spiritual stuff, my seemingly 'weirdness' is obvious and visible, My faults and flaws are on my life's stage with me, and for everyone to see.... And with all the 'self sacrifice' I forgot who I am, and what I can do for me. I feel emptied out of who I am...
Can you help me with that?
Saturn- Err ....nope, not really, I just do business, like tax returns, promotions and demotions. YOU have to
determine for yourself if what you are doing is aligned with your life's plans. You make the decisions and 'what happens' in life falls in with it, providing you with the environment to work through your stuff. You are learning the conscious creator material. Its not easy...
We are just the watchers, the babysitters. We are the comperes, the conductors, the maestros and the game umpires. Sometimes you win and sometimes you loose.
Remember Often loosing does not mean loosing, and winning does not mean winning. Up is down and down is up.....
We push energy here and there to create the impulse, to urge a motivational move from you, hopefully to encourage the move that will set you free from your self created situations.
~~~ later~~
Me- This is so exasperating. This afternoon I had my hands and heart filled with BIG trials and tribulations, a heated dynamic concerning both my teenagers, I mean BIG heartful stuff, with LOTS of Mars energy running wild. When I was alone I wanted to cry, but I can't even begin to dissect this situation.... for both of them it was HUGE. I witness this as a mother, But I am not a Superwoman. It has finished now, but we are all now so depleted. My point is, I couldn't even use my 'MARs' stuff to engage with the situation...There was a big blow up and then we are all falling to the floor like confetti. Depleted. Where is my Mars in this, it doesn't even so much as to get a look in. It was not required. Where is my Mars to force my action ... . I had no action to use in this....so whats the point of having a MARS energy you can't use? .......
I am again at a loss.
Saturn- So you didn't get to use your Mars?
How do you know?
Maybe Mars energy isn't quite what you think it is.
Action is also knowing when action is not required, the act of not reacting can be the stronger force....
Me- yeah, maybe, maybe I get you. But I am plenty of non action, and still not getting places...What can you do for me?
Aren't you the king of Karma also?
Saturn- Well..yes. Karma.
Now there's a thing (chuckling).. I am just a reminder that you have asked for balance, and I ring around the stuff that is what your energy is shouting about. I can of course give you another few years to get it sorted.
Me- Gee thanks.
But what is my 'energy' shouting, if not contradictions?
How much of this Karma has been worked through already?
Does it balance itself? Does it know when it is balanced?
How do we know.
Saturn- (Kindly) Every question holds within it the answer.
Oh you probably won't notice though, but you would be surprised.
Balance will have its way. Sooner or later. It is Universal Law.
http://www.mermaid-uk.net/Esotericsaturnsigns.htm
Saturn in Pisces 
On the personality level, Saturn in Pisces is indicative of the creation of walls and barriers without logical reference to actual circumstances. It is a combination that, unless otherwise mitigated in the natal chart, is fraught with fears and foreboding. One feels continuously on the verge of being trapped or restricted, and yet doesn’t necessarily know by what or whom. Unless one displays a certain mental brilliance (in which case this position is excellent for the laboratory, scientist, engineer, etc) Saturn in Pisces on the personality level usually brings a great deal of confusion into the life. But on the Soul level, another perspective presents itself. Pluto joins with Saturn in a most powerful combination to pierce the veils of glamour and illusion which block and restrict the passage of Active Intelligence into the world. Thus the individual with this placement is able to uncover many of the hidden, subconscious problems and fears that plague humanity and, once uncovered, destroy, transmute and restructure them.
(Reference Alan Oken)
The last note is from
Saturn (the Gatekeeper) in Esoteric Astrology 
(Artwork by Kagaya)
Esoteric Ruler of Capricorn
Planet of the Third Ray
Saturn is representative of the Law of Economy on all levels of the personality. It is not an agent of deprivation, as much as it is a testing ground to prove a person’s level of maturity and responsibility in dealing with what he has learned or achieved. We can say that the relationship with Saturn and the Sun has a great deal to do with physical vitality, and thus we see the application of the Law of Economy to the physical level. When we examine Saturn in relationship to the Moon, this Law extends itself into the emotional area of the personality life. The relationship of Saturn to Mercury conditions the extent of the lower mental aspect of the lower self.
Saturn, is the Lord of Karma. He stands at the Gates of Initiation ready to put all who approach to the test. (much as the symbol of St Peter acting as the Guardian at the Gates of Heaven in terms of the Christian philosophy).
From an astronomical point of perspective, Saturn is the furthest planet visible from the Earth with the naked eye. And its planetary rings are its most impressive feature. The rings are, of course, symbolic of the Laws of Karma. The position Saturn holds in space is indicative of the fact that a person cannot incorporate the energies of the furthest planets - Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto, into his individualised consciousness without first passing the various tests of personal responsibility so that he proves himself capable of handling the energies of a more evolved state. We can note this particular ~guardianship of consciousness~ in Saturn’s rulership over the throat chakra. In order to awaken the potentials of the two highest vital centres, located at the brow and the crown, an individual first has to stimulate personal awareness from the level of the throat.
Another term for Saturn is ~Dweller on the Threshold~. This is another of Saturn’s many titles, duties and responsibilities in the unfolding of the Path. As such, Saturn represents the crystalisation of the past, so that ~debts~ may be paid and one may undertake present opportunities for the future.
~Opportunity~ is one of the most descriptive words that can be applied to Saturn, as he offers those crises and life situations that bestow conscious freedom of choice. It is through our restrictions, and the pain which often accompanies thwarted desires or aspirations, that we come to a greater comprehension of the Laws of Manifestation. The structure and administration of these Laws are also under the rulership of Saturn.
Eventually, through the opportunities Saturn gives us, we have balanced a great deal of past karma and have reached a place where conscious choices becomes an actual possibility. At this point the choices we have to make for our evolutionary advancement become clear to our wakening eyes. We know that if we accept the work and service in front of us, we shall be tested. Yet our vision encourages us to shoulder some of the collective burden for advancing humanity and the expression of Love/Wisdom in the world. Saturn’s house position will reveal where our dharma/duty lies in this respect and where we may expect tests of restriction and self discipline to arise.
Once these tests are taken and passed - once the Path of Discipleship has been achieved - the very advanced individual passes onto the Cardinal Cross where, it is said, ~Saturn cannot follow men~ Once human consciousness has reached this initiate state, the Laws of human Karma have been learned and incorporated into oneself and the ~gate~ which Saturn guards and protects has swung open.
Saturn and the Earth are very closely related, due to their dual connection with the Third Ray. Saturn controls the creation of structural patterns for mental energy. It is the ~form~ side of the term ~thought forms~, that is, the crystallization of mental energy so that the Active Intelligence of Divinity may manifest in the outer world and on the Earth. It is on our planet therefore, that the karma of out solar system consolidates into physical form. So does the opportunity for the purification of karma and the eventual upliftment and ~greater sacredness~ of both humanity and the planet upon which we live. As the planet of the "Law of Cause and Effect", Saturn also bestows positive reward. He is definitely the ~Grim Reaper~, but he is also the benevolent Father. The rewards and punishments we receive are especially true relative to the way we handle the Earth’s resources and the energies of the lesser kingdoms: mineral, vegetable and animal. The synthesis of these three other kingdoms has once more to do with our administration of the Law of Right Human Relations.
Saturn, as ruler of Capricorn is directly related to the process of Initiation. But Saturn on the exoteric level is also the co-ruler of Aquarius. It will be through the correct application of the Laws and Principles of the New Age, so very much influenced by this planetary ~Gatekeeper~, that we shall be able to co-create and fulfil our individual karma relative to humanity’s collective life in the Aquarian Era.
The position of Saturn in the signs is particularly indicative of several major characteristics.
1. The sign will point to which Ray qualities may be inhibited on the personality level, so that such energies are brought into much more objective manifestation by the individual.
2. Such tests and crises will be reflected by the forms of such restrictions in the personal life, that Is, some will be affected financiallys, others romantically, others physically, etc.
3. The sign position also reveals what the Soul is seeking to perfect in the present incarnation, in order to foster its own growth and aid in the externalization of the Plan for humanity.
4. The combination of sign and house placement will point to the urge for the fulfillment of a specific type of karma, and the kinds of circumstances which will bring about the necessary testing in one’s life.
5. It must be clearly understood that these tests and trials are invoked through the Soul-centred individual’s conscious choice. This is part of living on the Fixed Cross and indicative of one who is assuming the responsibility for co-creating the structure of his spiritual life and material destiny. The right use of the mind, and the tests of polarisation of the emotions and the personal life to the mental plane and the impersonal life, will be definitely encountered along the Way.
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