Putting things to rest, and creating from 'anew'.

"An attained consciousness of; "I have because I am." will manifest outwardly regardless of how mundane the seeming need-- a ride somewhere , a mechanic, or even a tooth pulled. The realization (not just intellectual knowledge) of "I am self-sustained and self-maintained because I am" will draw to you the right person, thing, or experience when needed. (Energy aligns with like energy). Then, even seemingly human and ordinary activities will carry the energy of harmony instead of effort, force, and frustration.

Gratitude is not an emotion, but is rather a state of consciousness. Gratitude is a facet of love because it is the natural expression of realizing; "I embody all the Divine qualities Oneness I have been seeking"--joy, peace, harmony, and a sense of completeness that can never be found in a world of separation. When one fully attains the realization of ONE omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient Consciousness as being all there is, he becomes a gentle, quiet, and permanent consciousness of gratitude."

Intention + Elevated emotion

Using the above 'word crystals' for catharsis I set about Putting things to rest, and creating from 'anew'.

This November has been an intense time, for many unforeseen reasons, awkward, uncomfortable, and uplifting and sublime, each in turn and sometimes hand in hand.

The awkward unyeilding aspects can, if you let them play out, propel you into places where you can see not only the TIP, but the ENTIRE iceberg you may be dragging with you.

I have had quite a few and with intention to put this stuff to rest, November pulled me into a torrent river, from which I am just stepping out of, but amazingly with a smile on my face.

To pull all this together, and swim with it through the river, can feel like you are drowning, and maybe bits of you are. To complete this today I settled into a meditation, sitting on the ground, burning a cedar incense and asked that my prayers be carried on the smoke into the Great Mystery. 

I let it all fall out around me in the indigo void, now really spacious and filled the universe, my universe. My first thought was Wow, this is ALL ME.

The lessons came back to me as I allowed my self to go through the MIRROR of mind, that reverses everything and turns it all upside down and inside out to see how the intense, big PICTURES, STORIES that unfold in the outside are symbols of our understandings or rather, MISunderstandings, held internally, in a universe we create to tell ourselves a story and create a beginning, middle, and end.

The size of  obstacles and problems in the outside world, are proportional to the size of the deficit in ourselves.

For example; One of my stories, in very basic and general terms, has been that If no one else sees me, or validates me, Than I have no value, or validation.

The extent that I have felt persecuted by the various aspects of this has delivered various sized, problems in my outer world.

That my expectations for outside validation were never completely understood, That my self-value was tied up in what service I have to do to be validated..was never completely clear. It was A misunderstanding that became a ice berg where i could only see the tip, but eventually you can begin to see. The role my parents had in never 'seeing me', or being 'present for me' was extenuated by my expectations that they should, and in a perfect world, maybe that is true. But we are not in a perfect world and what plays out in the mirror of a perfect world is the unperfect world of the 3d, the duality where most times, the opposite of perfection is true.

So back to the size. The role I have played in my parents life has been huge, and vice versa, the problems and obstacles caused and created around that role I have played, have been huge. 

The are in fact  proportional to the extent of my inner wounds.

This only really came to light dealing with a smaller issue, brought along to me by another person, an old friend visiting from the US. It was seemingly irelevant, but became increasingly bothersome, and I got wind that should I feel this problem out and resolve it it would shed light on the bigger issues that don't seem to go away.

If you can imagine an inner world, in darkness because with 3d eyes we see upside down and inside out, and within there is no 'outside light', our outside eyes can only with outside light. So if we look internally with our outside eyes, to our outside problems, we cannot really 'SEE' them at all. It is like walking around a huge mansion, in the pitch dark, bumping into furniture, getting scared and STILL not UNDERSTANDING what is inside.

Remember All Outside stuff, Is stuff that actually are SYMBOLS or totems of inside stuff. INSIDE ISSUES that we can see, through the mirror that brings the two worlds together, but are kept apart by the fact we use 'outside eyes' to look at both. We have to use the inside eyes, and the inside light, to see clearly in the inside dark.

Make Sense?

So without going into my own personal details, what I did in my meditation to 'see' was to visualise  the hugeness of certain 'problems' as in the sizes that proportional. So take a 'mansion' sized problem or a house sized problem, and then break down the images of the mansion, or a house into an energetic representation of it or pixelated version of it. Like this.

Then see the pixelated version as the MASS of ENERGY CONCENTRATION, or the iceberg of ENERGY THAT it is massed into, and see that is what is inside your own universe.

Then Break it down into a more energetic version of your visual, house, mansion or football sized problem.....So that you can see the particles atoms and energy of that energy mass, kind of like this, so that what you feel/SEE is proportionate to the outside problem.

Then you realise that this PROBLEM is proportional to a the size of a energy deficit within you, the size of the energy of the outside problem....is an external playing out of an inner disturbance/misunderstanding and then say

I CREATED THAT???

Then say "Look at the size of that energy deficit, PROBLEM in my external world......It is internalised energy, pushed through and projected outward in a distorted mirror version that I can only interpret as I see it with my 3d eyes!!!!!"

Then say " what if I pulled that energy back, transmuted it by bringing the energy to a place of energy highest expression and THEN use that energy, recycled, repotentialed, loving retsored to create something that I really want."

Then say, "how do I do that?"

Well, then you understand, that the problem was created using your own energy potential, which left a huge deficit in your inner world that gradually got filled up with more hurt, rejection, despair, anger, etc. And when you realise that the only thing you can do is to bring compassion to yourself, forgive everything and everyone that helped your outside world to feel hurt, pain rejection deficit because it is no longer 

• necessary
• helpful
• serves any  purpose other than keeping you trapped to ice berg of your own creation.

Fill the spaces within the visual of the constructed house/mansion or whatever sized problem you are focussing on, with Magenta rose, energy or gold energy, any energy that is beautiful that can fill in and fill up the construction until it is overflowing with beautiful energy. Transmute the pain or anything associated with those feelings, and allow that renewed energy to come back into you to fill your inner world with a great big house sized or mansion sized LOAD of beautiful potential to NOW CREATE something new with....this time something you want.

The idea is to

• find a amazing reasons to see stuff, that needs dealing with,
• see that this stuff is now OLD, if you continue to create from this place, you will pretty soon have a whole town of houses build from the OLD HURTs.
• Scrap the OLD ways and see WHERE YOU CREATED PROBLEMS FROM YOUR HURTS, This is difficult because you have to be totally VULNERABLE in order to allow yourself to see what you have been creating.
• Find the elevated emotion that gives fire and wings of potential to the outcomes you really want.
• KNOW that you Can do this, and actually feel excited by it and therefore actually allow you to pull down the SAME old, same old, repeating iceberg, that pulls you back, into the renewed building blocks of potential for creation. 
• If you can see that you really did create the old problems, unknowingly , your own inner world deficit played out to manifest and become an outer world energy deficit, PROBLEMS.....
• than you can see that you can really create anew.

Hope this helps.

Michaela.